Can I get a Bucket for..?
-CorpWorld traditional
In CorpWorld, it’s all about the buckets.
Buckets of time, that is… digital containers with a capacity measured in hours. And not just any hours – hours that have been blessed by accounting types.
Behind this simple integer is all manner of corporate political knavery. Lies were told, blood was shed and careers toppled – but your managers have emerged from the carnage with Buckets.
For now your project has been given life.
By extension – this means that you can be paid.
Sweet, sweet money…Huzzah!
This being CorpWorld, tracking your time and effort requires duplicate entries in four separate systems, but because the Buckets are upstream they are the most important.
Without Buckets, there is no work. This fact is often lost on those who work on multi-year projects. A steady supply of Buckets makes it easy to forget that someone higher up than you earned the sworn vengeance of their rivals to hook you up to the money supply.
This leaves you free to do battle with the second tier of time-tracking in CorpWorld – the task hours. But we don’t care about that, really – because task hours are not truly subordinate and rise and fall without respect to how many hours are in your actual Bucket.
Case in point: For a period of about twenty working days I will log 60 hours of task hours towards my project. Over the same period, I will log 160 hours of Bucket time. How can this be?
In actual fact, I will be at work doing tasks for 160 hours or so, but the additional overhead and hassle of wrangling my task hours to be in line with this level of effort is not worth it for anyone.
As in: I have two pools of task hours – Task A for 40 hours and Task B for 20. In the middle of Day 8, a tester comes to me and says “I think this screen has a bug, would you agree?”
I do. In fact looking at the screen it is clear that not only is this a bug in the design – it is a bug I’ve created by not testing an input string that is stupidly long and composed entirely of capital Ws. A tester, being a tester, does this – and finds my work wanting.
This needs to be done before some code moves, and I know exactly what to fix – so I tell them I’ll get on this right away.
Officially, what I am expected to do is nothing. The tester is supposed to enter the problem, attach screenshots, and assign it to my GroupManager.
Then my GroupManager is supposed to ignore this assignment, because being assigned to the GroupManager is the equivalent of being unassigned. A system designer or tech lead will then review the issue to determine if this is really an issue, verify that it is still occurring and assign it to a developer.
There is a good chance that this item will get assigned to me, but it’s not a sure thing. Once it is assigned to a resource – that person will analyze the bug and then go to the TeamLeader who will go to the GroupManager and request time to perform the work. As task hours are a hot button issue these days, creating a new task will require managerial sign off. Since this is a bug, the approval is assured, but it will take time.
If I get the bug – there will be no analysis, since I know what the problem is. If someone else gets it, there could be some ramp up time.
At the end of the process, all of these people will have task hours to do this work- but the bug will sit idle for a few days. And there will be some lost time in transferring knowledge about what the bug really is.
And upstream of all of this, I’m 100% funded to work on this project, so nobody on my team gives a crap if I create a two hour task or not. The work will get done and I’ll bill time to the project – since I bill all my time to the project.
As it turns out, the bug is a bigger issue, since the problem will happen anywhere you max out an input with capital Ws. Following the process, I would have revised my estimate from 2 hours to 5 (and still been wrong) and someone would look at a report and see my graph of remaining work as increasing rather than decreasing. This would be true, but it would not be welcome information. “Why are you not making progress?” NewManager would ask, “We have to make our deadline!”
“Yes, but we have to fix this before we go live, and my other tasks don’t affect the deadline. They can wait while I work on this.”
NewManager will stick to their guns, because tasks that wait will appear on their managers reports and cause a ripple of unpleasantness that they will have to explain. They do not want this – no matter what the actual picture is – and they will make the point that assigned tasks will get done within their 20 day allotment. Period.
Group manager and TeamLeader will have to explain this to me. Being sensible types, they will explain it thusly: “Go back to your original estimate and do what you need to do to fix this issue.” What this means is that the tracking software (like all tracking software) only cares about the work that is entered into it. So long as my task graph continues to slope downward – all is sweetness and light.
With this in mind – I do the obvious thing: I keep the bug out of the system and run it to ground. It’s pretty easy to fix, but there are a lot of places this issue will occur so I end up burning about eight hours finding all the locations where this will occur and making sure it will behave across our supported browsers. Bang, done. Deploy the code in time to make the deadline and log the fix against my 40 hour task. Everybody is happy and I’ve saved several people a lot of hassle, including myself.
Again, tracking time in two systems when the only time that matters is being tracked in Buckets that arrive, fully loaded each and every week.
But one week – they don’t.
NewManager calls me into their office to tell me that instead of being 100% on the project, I will be shifted to 50% in the next month or so.
This information must be logged in some system, because shortly thereafter I’m contacted by Smiler, my other manager.
Meeting with Smiler is always a bit of a dance. They are cordial enough, they are nice enough – but there is no professional rapport between us.
Smiler asks if I am truly going to be 50% on my project going forward. I say I am. Smiler assures me that they will look into my future allocations. I thank them and go back to my desk.
Then I start updating my resume.
Because the truth is, I am afraid of Smiler.
According to CorpWorld’s lattice, Smiler has the most direct responsibility to fire me – yet my only interaction with them is asking them to sign my timesheet. They don’t see my work, understand my work or (seemingly) have any interest in it.
My introduction to them was not encouraging – my former colleagues met in a room to review a new set of policies that were immediately in effect. Their underlying purpose was clear: cut expenses. Smiler stressed this repeatedly to a room full of people who they clearly viewed as expenses. So much so that two of them were let go within a few months.
One of the new policies made it clear that I was I was no longer allowed to work remotely. There was a broadly worded reason for this, yet I knew several people identically situated who continued to work remotely. I questioned this in hopes there was some leeway to keep this work option and was met with a grim look of contempt. The smile was gone, but only long enough to let me know that the conversation was over.
Before their layoff, Ruby told me they’d gone to Smiler about Buckets. Asked what they should to do if there weren’t enough project buckets to make full time hours. Smiler’s response was essentially: “Stay home.” Anyone paying attention to Ruby’s allocation could have seen the looming deficit and taken action – even if it was just to give a warning. Instead Ruby was told the week it started. “Surprise! You’re a part-timer now.”
Prior to this the only one-to-one meeting I’ve had with Smiler was so they could chastise me for using a general Bucket for non-project work (like waiting for tech support to fix your machine). I was never to put more than an hour a week in this Bucket. Period.
And then the smile came back. “You can go.”
Part of the reason Smiler has had little to do with me is that my Buckets have always been full.
Now my Buckets were half empty and Smiler was my best option for more. In my years at CorpWorld, I’ve faced a good amount of corporate death. Panicked phone calls by laid off colleagues, the sudden dismissals of a third of my department, and the subsequent shattering of the unit. There were four survivors.
Now Stimpy and I are the last two. A backhanded compliment, or they just haven’t gotten around to finishing us off.
What the hell am I doing here?
I let fly with some grief to a former colleague – someone who bailed out to get a permanent gig – then watched their new gig go bankrupt right before their start date. They’d landed on their feet after awhile and were clearly on the upswing. They asked me if I needed a job. They were leaving their newest gig – said it wasn’t right for them, but that it might be for me.
“Are you serious?, hell yes..! Send it on.”
So I did a phone interview with a recruiter and the gig sounds great. Money’s decent, better vacation, a permanent gig – oh, and they’re way closer to home. I get to do what I do in a mid-size (less bureaucracy, but still funded). This could be great – but there are a lot of unknowns.
F#*k it, at least I’ll get my résumé in order and get some interview practice.
My former colleague gives me the setup and I interview. It feels like it goes very well, but I’m trying to keep my hopes contained. No sense getting too built up.
I interview on a Thursday, report back to the recruiter on Friday and wait.
For a week. I refuse to contact the recruiter for fear there is some kind of gamesmanship going on. I’ve represented myself as someone who has a job, thank you very much. I don’t want to come across as too eager. The following Friday, the recruiter emails me to tell me they’ve heard back from the client and that I’ll be “very excited” to hear what they have to say.
They set up a meeting for Monday – and again I try not to get too excited. The recruiter is basically telling me this meeting is a formality and that I should provide references. I’m still thinking the big hurdle is that they will show up on Monday and make an offer that is below my salary requirements. I was deliberately forward about these so that nobody’s time got wasted. The recruiter and the client seemed fine with what I’d said, but I figure nothing is set until there’s a contract.
Monday rolls around, I’m meeting the recruiter face to face for the first time and (per tradition) they’re buying me lunch.
They’re talking up the position like they’re still selling it to me. But I’m already sold.
While the senior recruiter is lapsing into his company’s philosophy I sit back and reflect.
Seven years at CorpWorld. Am I really doing this? Every other time the reaper has missed you. You work with an absolutely kick-ass team. Where are you going to find resources and talent like that? Nowhere.
But then I think of
N. Twice gone, the last time by their own choice.
And SR.
KR.
And Y.
And
R.
And
corporate indifference.
And
Happy Friday.
And Sensei...who wisely fled in time to miss
Black Wednesday.
And Friday, Apok, Isis, and Murdock... who didn't.
Then Din, and finally Ruby. Ruby who was so burned out after CorpWorld, they changed career tracks.
Over the recruiter’s shoulder, I’m watching a plane taxi in prep for takeoff.
Yeah, I can do this.
I re-acquire the recruiter’s line of blather and they are still going on about the job being a good fit for me. I agree with them in an attempt to move onto the next subject. The offer. I’m braced for disappointment or some kind of switch up – but the recruiter keeps on with his “this is a great time to join this company” spiel.
I try again to cut them off – to focus on the deal we’re about to close – and then it hits me. They don’t have a deal with them.
Something is wrong.
I press them on it and they admit that they are still waiting for a final approval from the client. Something has changed since Friday’s breathless email – and now we will have to wait “a few days.” But, the head recruiter assures me, they will “make it clear to the client that we need to know by Wednesday.”
All my energy rolls out of me as I realize this person is selling me a line of crap. You don’t tell clients what to do – because they are your client. They pay you, they call the tune. The recruiter wants me to think that they’ve got some pull with a client who already iced them for a week?
OhJesusGod…
I try to remain positive, but we shake hands and I roll back to work in a funk. I’d bought into it and now it probably won’t happen. After all that keeping my hopes down – I’d been all set to jump.
***************
Back at the office I get an email from Smiler – telling me to meet with Stimpy and take their old projects over, since they are changing roles. I find I’ve been given another general Bucket to do work for Smiler’s group.
Things are looking up.
I meet with Stimpy to arrange the transfer of files and they rattle off three projects. Three! Whoo-hoo! Four projects should easily fill up my time. They want to transfer them over to me in a week or so – which seems fine. My big project has converted me to half time, but I still have a slew of work for them and they should be able to carry me for a week or so. They’ve asked me to do a number of additional wrap up tasks before we put the project docs in storage.
Stimpy tells me they are taking a job with another part of the Company because they were afraid they wouldn’t have enough to do where they were. It sounds like a great opportunity, since they will be actually doing UX work using the gear that has been lying unused since Black Wednesday. I congratulate them.
Stimpy looks at me sadly for awhile. “My projects are winding down, I needed to make a change. I want to stay. I like it here.” Then they tell me that one of their three projects is done as of next week. So I will be getting only two new projects.
Stimpy looks uncomfortable. “These two projects, they are not very big. You should tell Smiler you are available for additional types of work.”
I’m just happy they haven’t been canned. “Let me worry about that – I’ll still have three projects and I have a general Bucket from Smiler. I’ll be fine.”
We set up a meeting to formally hand over the files and project info in two weeks. I tell Smiler I might be light on hours, and that I would be available to do some detailing work in the interim. They look amused.
I contact my staffing company to ask for their help in case the worst happens. They say they’ll contact Smiler and see what’s what.
It’s been a rough set of days, but I’m beginning to level out.
***************
Monday.
I get an email from my GroupManager about buckets. They’ve sent it to the entire team. “I urge you to review your time allocations as some of you have entered time that exceeds your reserves.” That would be CorpWorld for you billed the project for more time than we can give you.
They’ve attached a spreadsheet. I check my name and see that last week I billed full time to the project (because that’s all I worked on) but I was only allowed around 18 hours.
That bit where I thought my current project could carry me? Not happening. I’ve used two weeks worth of project time in one week. Meaning If I enter no project time this week, I’ll balance out. But I have no other projects and the two new ones I’m getting won’t start until next week at the earliest.
I ping Stimpy and check on those project allocations, that I AM getting them and just HOW big they are. Stimpy tells me that one of the remaining two projects has just been cancelled. The other might amount to 10 hours a month.
F#*k.
I’m headed for Smiler when I find out that Smiler is out of the office and won’t be back for a week or so.
Double. F#*k.
I ping my staffing company and tell them Smiler will be out. Partly so they don’t waste their time leaving a message, but mostly so they are reminded that they need to get back to me.
My account rep replies at the end of the day with “I’ll reach out to Smiled[sic] upon their return. I’ll keep you in the loop!”
I about lose it.
“Do so with all speed. At the end of this week I will need to enter hours I don’t have allocations for.”
The next day my team has a review of the work we’ve completed. At the end of it, an all-star developer, who I’ll call Lion, announces they are leaving CorpWorld to take another job. They’ve been with the company for years and years, but they are punching out. It’s a huge loss to the project team. Lion is perhaps the best person I’ve ever met at distilling complex technical issues into understandable language. They have been a pillar of our development effort. And they are leaving.
The other developers nod grimly and say “What took you so long?” Gallows humor is the hallmark of the coding set. i.e. “You are highly respected, therefore why are you wasting your life on this company?”
And the rest of the meeting devolves into “what are we supposed to do now that we have less hours?”
Because everyone seems to be in the same predicament. My allocation is actually one of the higher ones. I get 18 hours a week, some people are getting 2 – or none. Ace has almost 30, but they will still be short at the end of the week. Resource managers have clearly dropped the ball here. Unless…surely we can’t all be destined for the chopping block…?
The team rumbles back to their desks, equal parts defiance and dread.
Seriously, this group is a killer team – surely there is work for them, for us. For me.
I resolve to continue working on the follow up tasks I’ve been given until more project work shows up. I’ll bill time to what I have and wait for the blowback. I’ve tried to get additional work and my manager’s disappeared. I could go to their backup, but they will only tell me to wait until Smiler gets back.
And my staffing company finally contacts me, offers to take me to lunch.
I meet them in a place that better suited for discussion than food and we get down to business. My nerves are a mess – I’ve been whipsawed through a range of futures and I need them to tell me they will be a plan B. Actually a plan C, since I haven’t told them about the other job opportunity.
They assure me that they have my back – if the worst should happen, they will find something for me. They will speak to CorpWorld and see what project work is available for me.
I’m so relieved I almost forget this is the company that has given me a single raise in seven years. Yet I am grateful. Somebody wants to help me out.
