The Smell of Fear

They announced it months ago.

We will lay off 100 people in your division in May.

They then nullified traditional causes for hope, like past performance, or professional relationships.

Your managers will not take part in these decisions.

Then they said nothing.

For months.

Some clues escaped  - the grapevine informed everyone that managers were being given training on how to usher people out of the building. Given the scope of the cuts, it would not be possible for some managers to escort all their dismissed employees in a timely fashion.

So they’d need help.

People in our division were then told that on the appointed day (whenever it should occur) all meetings would be cancelled and everyone was to wait at their desk until the work day ends or they are fired – whichever comes first.

There’s been a lot of speculation as to when that day is. The assumption has been that it would be soon and on a Thursday – because a lot of staff take alternating Fridays off.

Makes sense. Totally plausible.

Badly sourced, though.

And wrong.

I’m coming in the building watching our product owner exiting the building with someone I don’t know. They’re carrying a banker’s box.  The unknown staffer is carrying an assortment of bags. They look grim.

But it’s Wednesday…

I convince myself they’re headed to a trade show. I’ve done the trade show thing and no doubt carried a similar expression at the time.

I’ve forgotten my badge, naturally. So I go to reception and there’s a new procedure for getting in.  It takes forever, and I’m worried if I’m going to make my morning meeting on time.

In the hall I see one of my favorite clients. She gives a thumbs down signal to me – and I have a momentary fear that she’s on her way out – but no.

“It’s today,” she says, “they started at 8.”

She doesn’t need to explain what is happening. It’s been the first and last topic of every meeting for the past month. It’s been the reason 20-year veterans are too stressed to focus and spend hours just praying they'll get a severance package.

I go to my desk thinking – This is just perception. Rumors have been flying for days and the human mind can only stand so much suspense.

It was just a person carrying a box…

I get to my desk and see my inbox is flooded with meeting cancellations.

…all meetings will be cancelled.

I do a once around the pods to make sure people I know are still here – then back to my desk.

And here I sit, waiting for the end – or the end of the day.

Like a good little soldier.