So Simple

I'd been hearing a lot about an emerging web based banking service called Simple - and figured (in the interest of testing out modern UI) that I'd try them out.

Plus, if they're solid - I could use them to replace my current external savings bank, who were recently acquired by a bank I detest.

You have to request an invitation - which takes awhile. I suspect they're doing the same thing Mailbox did - trying to keep a lid on growth so they don't overcommit.

I submitted my request on July 15.

On July 23, I received my invitation.

Not bad.

You sign up online. And while I didn't get screenshots of the form, let me just say - it's one of the smoothest signup apps I've ever used.

I especially loved the realtime verification of my bank's routing number. As soon as I typed in the last digit - I saw the name of my bank appear, so I knew the number was correct. (Yes, you can do that on a form submit, but much smoother to do it realtime. Plus it shows that people are going the extra mile. They didn't have to do that.)

They made a great fuss about setting up a username and passphrase and then routing you to the mobile app.

The suggestion was that once you got set up, your primary interaction would be through your phone app. As in, you won't be logging into their website much.

Awesome. I hate logging in.

And they send you a credit card, which you will use for most of your withdrawals.

---

A shortcoming of this was that there were a series of steps you needed to wait for.

After requesting an invite, you needed to wait a week for it to arrive.

After signing in, you needed to wait to be approved.

After getting approved, you needed to wait until they sent you your credit card.

And after they send you the credit card, you needed to wait for some challenge transactions to appear in the external account you used to set up your simple account.

---

None of these steps are a hassle, but the common denominator in all of these is time.

At some point, I got my spiffy new Simple credit card in the mail (in a spiffy custom envelope).

Except that my spiffy custom envelope was already open when I got it.

This, I did not like.

Lest I go all DEFCON-1 on this situation, I emailed the folks at simple and asked what I should do. If this was a security risk - I would like a new card sent to me. If it's not a security risk - I would just activate the card.

Simple replied that I should contact their help line and formally request a new card.

So I did.

In the meantime, I had seen the challenge transactions show up in my external bank, so I figured I could at least verify Simple's connection with my bank.

So I fire up the iPhone app. Annnnd Nothing. The app works, but I don't see anything about connecting or confirming transactions with an external bank.

Then I re-read my email from Simple (RTFM, dude) and I see:

Sign into your Initial Funding account to see the two deposit amounts, and then sign in to Simple.com on your computer to confirm them.

Okay, I should go to the website. So I do:

Very elegant, simple even.

Except it's been awhile since I set up my account on the website. I'd thought I'd be using the app most of the time, and it works with a 4 digit PIN.

Username....?  Ahhh... I enter the email address they sent all my stuff to.

See that red border? That appeared right after I typed the "@" sign.

That's an omen. (for tech types, I'm using Chrome on OS 10.8.2)

Password.....?  Double Ahhhhh.... I remember picking a stupidly complicated one, since they assured me I wouldn't have to type it again.

So, this is what I'm looking at right before I hit "Sign in..."

And this is what it looks like right after I hit "Sign in..."

Yes, you are not imagining things, those two images are identical.

This is a problem. Not a crippling one, but one where the user doesn't see any response to their action.

I hit the button...annnd....nothing changed. Now what?

See that red border? That's the feedback I'm supposed to be keying off of.

Red = Bad.

Thus: My Username = Red = Bad.

What's wrong with my username?

It says 'username' and not 'email' so perhaps I'd set up a username separate from my email.  I honestly cannot remember.

I prune the '@domain.com' off the end and try again. This time, I get:

That's what I'd expected. I doubted I'd get the password right on the first go, but I expected to get some feedback on what happened.

I'm still not sure what my username actually is, but at least the system is responding now.
I try with my email sans domain a few more times before giving up and hitting the 'Reset your password?' link.

 Okay, there's the confirmation: 'username or email' On their site, your username IS distinct from your email address. I haven't the slightest idea what my username is, but I know the email address I gave them. And I know the phone number I gave them, it's my iPhone number - 'cos I downloaded their app.

Send.

Shortly thereafter, I get this email from Simple:

From: Simple Support <support@simple.com>
Date: Wed, Aug 21, 2013 at 12:50 PM
Subject: Request to reset passphrase
To: "me@domain.com" <me@domain.com> 

[Simple Logo] 

We received a request to reset the passphrase for the Simple login associated with this email address. If you made this request, please follow this link and enter the verification code we sent to your mobile device:  

https://www.simple.com/new-password/[long string of numbers] 

This reset link is only good for 30 minutes. If you have any problems, please call us at 888-248-0632. Replies to this email are not monitored.

Super! I click the link and it opens to a standard password reset form.

I'm asked to enter a new password AND enter a code that they will text to my phone.

*Bzzzt!*

My phone buzzes to announce the arrival of the security code from Simple.

Yea!

I type in a diabolically complex passphrase (which they confirm is diabolically clever) and then I key in my security code.

And like that, my password is reset.

---

We're back here, again:

Do you see the problem, yet?

I still don't know my username. And nothing in the communications I've received tell me what it is.

I try my email address without the domain suffix - and it fails.

I re-read everything they've sent me up to this point. None of them spell out what my username is.

I take a guess and try a username I've used on other sites along with the password I just reset.

Success!

Pro tip: It should not be possible for a password reset sequence to end in a user not having both pieces of log in information. One or the other by itself is not going to get it done.

Understandably, there are security reasons you shouldn't do this in a single communication  - but this is undeniably critical information. You must provide it as part of this process.

---

So I'm in.

The transaction log shows they've issued me a replacement card AND zeroed out the cost to me. Smart, because now I know that replacement cards cost money and that they've done me a favor by not charging me.

Pro tip: If you do a favor for your customers, make sure they know about it.

---

But now that I'm in, I'm supposed to be confirming some challenge transactions with my external bank.

I have no idea where this is. To me, if this is a critical set up task (which it is - as future transactions between these banks cannot happen without this step) I would assume this (one time, setup) task would be writ large all over the screen when I come in.

Honestly, a splash intro screen would not be out of order.

"Before you begin: Setting up a connection between Simple and your External Bank requires verifying some challenge transactions.  

If you've already seen these transactions appear in your external bank account, you're ready to verify them.  

Would you like to verify these transactions now, or wait until later?"

This is the display weight I'm expecting when I log in, but instead I get this:

Also, there might be value in having this setup task presented as a message, like they're doing in the top right of the screen. Like a To-Do list. Being user friendly, they could present it with me in the middle, since I've already ticked off a few items.

But all those 4 items are invites I can send to friends. No help.

So where do I go?

I try 'External Accounts' which makes sense:

Okay this looks right, but other than 'Add an Account' I'm not sure what to do here. I already see my account and its routing number - I mouse over it to click it...

And new controls appear!

Okay, Simple guys... If this is the step you NEED me to take, it should not be hidden behind a rollover effect.

You don't need a blink tag, but for crying out loud, make this overt.

The saving grace here is that the page is pretty bare bones. There's not a lot of distractions or other complications on the page. There's a big box over there, I'm probably going to mess with it, but it's not like having those buttons displayed from the outset would break your page.

Make them visible - give them a shiny rollover effect if you want to get fancy - but make them visible on load, 'kay?

Once I found the control, confirming the challenge transactions was dead simple.

Overall, I love the idea of the Simple.com bank - and should the trial run play out - I'll be ditching my other bank to store savings here. I've dealt with a faceless, distant bank for a long time - it's nice to try a bank that's put some effort and thought into dealing with customers via smartphone and web.

I'm giving them grief here, because these are setup tasks that should be bulletproof - but the overall of what I've seen has impressed.

More to follow.

Cutting the Cord

One more follow up to my previous post:

I'd called my cable company and TiVO to discontinue service - because I've taken leave of my senses and have signed yet another contract with AT&T. (Shoot me now)

Both of these companies (understandably) have scripts for these kinds of calls. They're about to lose a customer - they want to try and win you back.

I thought the contrast between TiVO and my cable company was pretty striking.

The cable guy ignored what I was saying and kept to his script "Who are you going with?" "Have you seen our latest offerings?"

Over and over. I'm saying. "I'm done. I've already made this decision." And Cable Rep is still all up in my face. "We have some great deals..."

TiVO Rep started a similar script, but as soon as I said I'd already signed a contract - he just said okay. I respect that.

And I felt respected. Even as a departing customer. Points for TiVO.

*  *  *

Yesterday I found there was one other distinction between these two companies.

I'd asked for my service to be ended on September 4th, the day I was going to get Uverse installed.

TiVO Rep had a problem with that - My billing cycle started on the 1st of the month, and rather than bill me for another month they'd end my service at the end of August.

Not seamless, but I could deal.

Cable Rep was different. I explained I wanted the service stopped on the 4th and he never missed a beat. "Okay."

I was irritated with him over the sales pitch crap, and having to listen to him type my cancellation in - but once I explained what I wanted he got to work.

Boom, done.

*  *  *

But there's a catch. With data utilities - there is always a catch.

The catch arrived yesterday. I'm working on fettuccine alla boscaiola and E's looking out the window.

"I think the cable guy was just in our back yard."

Now - I'm ashamed that this did not immediately provoke me into a full on sprint into the backyard to demand what in the hell this man was doing on our property. But I didn't. I continued with dinner - under the (laughably naive) assumption that there was some prep work the cable company needed to do on site before they stopped my service.

I know, I know... but there was a lot going on at the time.

By the time I get stuff sorted - the cable guy is gone. I don't give it another thought until E and I sit down to watch our stories and-

Yeah. The cable's been disconnected.

That was yesterday. A quick look at my calendar shows yesterday is TWO WEEKS earlier than the September 4 cutoff I asked for.

Set aside the irritation at not having cable. Set aside the irritation that they've not done what I asked them to do.

What genuinely p!sses me off is the fact that they never said a word about it to me.

TiVO Rep said right up front "We can't cut you off on the 4th, we need to do the 1st."
That's respecting your customer, right there. Telling them what is going to happen before it does.

Cable Rep hears my request for a specific date and says nothing. Cable Guy coming to cut off my service never even rings my doorbell. He just shows up, cuts the cord, and drives off in a cloud of smoke.

So now I'm in a stupid position. What to do? Call them and ask them to re-install it for two weeks? They'd probably charge me installation.

But since I want to confirm my rebate status (we pay a month ahead, naturally) I call them anyway.

Today's Cable Rep tells me that my service was discontinued as of yesterday (really? I wondered why I was calling you). When I point out the early disconnect was not what I wanted - TCR tells me that once they put the disconnect order in the system, it gets scheduled for the next available technician in the area (whenever that might be).

Before making it clear that I'm not personally angry with TCR, I vent my spleen at this idea.

If you can't do something the customer asks - TELL THEM.
If you're going to do the opposite of what the customer wants - TELL THEM.

I get that handholding customers who are on the way out doesn't have a lot of ROI, but here's a thought: the first Cable Rep I spoke to could have said "Sir, if you don't want your service disconnected before the 4th, I'd suggest calling back on the 4th and we'll take care of you then."

Boom, done. No additional expense for them and the customer gets what they want.

Instead, the rep acted like they were listening to me - and then did the same thing they did in all other situations -

-what cable companies and telcos have been doing since they realized their customers were at their mercy...

-they did whatever the hell was easiest for them.

Pair Bonded

I like to throw my mail away before I get to the house. Saves me time.

Mail goes into three categories:

1. Crap - 80% (Bin it)
2. Bill - 19% (Groan and bring inside)
3. Actual communication from a human being I want to hear from - 1% (Dance around while choirs of angels part the clouds with song)

This crap-to-content ratio is one of the many reasons I've been ignoring my cable, Internet and phone service options. I just don't want to read it.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR... 

*Binned*

FOR OUR VALUED CUSTOMER-

*Binned*

YOU MAY BE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR-

*Binned*

This is where communication has sunk to - at least where it comes to cable & telecom. 

I don't believe them. At all.

So, they - like the quintessential American abroad - just talk louder.

I've gotten full color 8x11 envelopes chock full of glossy pictures of happy people posing in front of electronic devices. Yea! We love our faceless utility provider of choice! They are far superior to all others!

I've gotten envelopes disguised as hand-written notes. "From a Friend at AT&T." 

I have no friends at AT&T.

I get phony credit cards promising me savings. Postcards, fold out brochures.

*Binned*

Because every time I think about changing cable and phone service I just want to hit someone. It's a can of freaking worms and getting the truth out of a piece of telco marketing material is only slightly more impossible than reaching an intelligent and informed human being at said telco.

Your call is important to us.

No, it bloody well isn't. Neither is providing accurate pricing information in written form. Thirty full-color pages of fluff, but not a jot about what additional fees come standard with your order.

With EVERY order. 

"Well, that would change by region." 

Yes, I'm sure it would. And when it changed, you could print it out and include it in your materials, no? Whassa matter? Printer no workey when it's not printing out craptacular, fact-free brochures?

You may have noticed, I'm a little irritated. But then, AT&T and I have a long history of pain together.

The other day, AT&T did something that caught me off guard: they sent a human being to my door.

Which is ten times more annoying than sending me mail or calling my house.

But you can't bin a human being - and it's ever so much harder to hang up on them.

AT&T person was a big, young man - chock full of pat lines and zingers to establish a rapport with me.

I opted for the direct route. "What does it cost? Choice of services is all about money."

Which is true. I've been on DSL for an embarrassingly long time - so there is no level of Internet that isn't superior to mine.

He rattles off a combined rate for cable/Internet/phone (the unholy trinity) for $115 dollars a month. And you just have to swear to pay that for two years. 

Free Installation!

But you have to use our gateway device (and rent it forever - the fee's included)

And you get a DVR (free!)

And we'll give you a $150 gift card!

And...!

*Sigh*

I take the man's name and info and send him on his way. Because there is no way to have this conversation without doing battle with the beast. There are too many ways for a telco/cableco to screw their customer. Teaser rates, varying speeds, expanded basic, 200 channels, 300 channels. You almost never end up with apples to apples.

Sidebar: I went to their channel listing to see about the difference between the 200 channel package and the 300 channel package. 

The U200 has 275 channels

• 3 are described as applications (Apps on TV, not really a channel)
• 16 Childrens channels
• 10 International channels
• 58 Music channels
• 24 Operating System (by this, I mean things like messages and "how to use your DVR")
• 10 Religious channels
• 2 Scenery channels
• 8 Schedule channels (what is playing on your 'actual' channels)
• 34 Shopping channels
  
  This adds up to 
• 165 CRAP Channels
  in other words,
• 60% of the U200 package is CRAP

The U300 has 339 channels:

• 3 Application 'channels'
• 19 Childrens channels
• 14 International channels
• 67 Music channels
• 24 Operating System channels
• 10 Religious channels
• 2 Scenery channels
• 8 Schedule channels
• 34 Shopping channels
  
  This adds up to
  
• 181 CRAP channels
  in other words,
• 53% of the U300 package is CRAP

Now, don't get me wrong - I've got nothing against religion, but the one thing you can say that holds true across all religions: they don't make good TV. 

Likewise children's channels. Most are some cartoon re-run death spiral, or Disney farm league. I won't watch them & I won't let them melt my kids brains. 

And while 'international' would seem unfairly classified as crap, a channel broadcast entirely in Spanish is not really a channel I'm going to get a lot of value out of. Sure, if there's a good soccer match on Univision - I'd watch it - but most of the games I'd watch will be on other channels in English.  

Hundreds of channels! Quothe the brochure... But really - 34 freaking shopping channels? 8 channels that just tell you what's on? 67 channels devoted to music? 

 The U300 has movie channels - that and 7% less crap as a percentage is the selling point. Although that's before you factor in that the U300 contains utter throwaway channels like CNBC World. 

I want you to picture the person who ups their cable package to get CNBC World.

<Barf sound>.

I digress...

In my head, I was spending about $26 a month for my landline and about $30 a month on DSL.

I knew cable was around $70 a month and on top of that - we were paying for TiVO at $12.95 a month.

So. $26 + $30 + $70 + $12.95 = $138.95

However. I've been tracking my household bills using Google Drive for awhile now and had just re-itemized things, so I could get an accurate comparison without having to dig out bills by month. Everything was already in my spreadsheets.

Turns out I was actually paying $34 for my landline per month.

My Internet was actually $38 a month.

My cable was $74.59 a month.

TiVo was correct at $12.95 a month.

So, I'm paying about $160 a month for phone / Internet / cable.

Out of sight, out of mind. They hook you up to their services with a bang, and then slowly ratchet up the rate. Over time, you only remember what it used to cost.

A few other things jumped out at me from this quick check: 

My landline costs $28 a month, but the fees and taxes bump it up to $34. That's almost a 20% increase. They can say my base rate stayed the same, but I end up paying more because some "fees" increased over time.

*sigh*

My cable company charged 15% over the base rates for their taxes and "fees" and only TiVO charged me the listed price and nothing else.

Assuming a similar fee spread on this new rate, I'd end up with a monthly bill of about $128 a month. I'd get more channels, and way faster Internet.

*sigh*

This should be happy news, but these things are never seamless. 

I'll lose my recorded DVR content from TiVO. 

I'm not convinced my rotary phone will continue to work (despite the assurances from the AT&T guy).

I love my wireless router - can I keep it? AT&T guy didn't know.

And there's a history of last minute surprises when it comes to installs. My last cable guy showed up with a cable converter (that they would rent to me) despite my being promised I didn't need one and wouldn't get one.

Pay less for more, and all I can think is "How is this going to go south?"

This is the state of the modern broadband consumer. Unswerving fatalism.

AT&T guy returns later on and offers me an even better deal (oooh! tell us, do!) He'll offer me $110 a month and throw in an additional $25 gift card.

The gift card is meh, but lowering a monthly rate is actual money. I've wanted to fire my cable company for awhile and - yes - I actually agree to this foolishness.

The sign up procedure (with a rep in my house) involves forms in triplicate and calling the AT&T mothership because - HEAVEN FORBID - you have an interaction with AT&T that isn't "recorded for quality purposes."

I get some guy with a lisp who asks if he wants him to repeat my agreed on rate or do I want the guy in my kitchen to do it.

Memo to AT&T: this is an inhuman question, completely severed from any norms of communication. Any thinking person is going to respond with "What the hell are you talking about?"

As a UX guy, I just have to ask: Why is this step necessary? Surely someone will tell me the price, and it will be the same as before, right?

But trust is absent from this process. I'm being recorded, lest I sue and claim fraud later - and so I ask the guy on the phone to repeat the price, reasoning that it will be recorded (on their tape, to which I will have no access - ever) and then they mention the activation fee. 

It's $49.

This is the first time anyone has ever mentioned the existence of such a fee. I repeatedly grilled the AT&T guy in my kitchen about installation fees and what would and would not be covered by my free installation. I was repeatedly assured that there would be no charge for my installation.

At no time did this person mention that there would be an activation fee.

Because, why would you, really? I mean there must be dozens of people who asked for equipment to be installed but not activated, right?

Why are we even talking about this?

AT&T guy gets my whatTheF*#@AreYouTalkingAbout vibe pretty quick and he swiftly tacks into "but since I said your installation would be free, here's a rebate form that you can give the installer that will totally offset the activation fee." 

Yes, because a future handoff of paperwork to a man I've not met, for the promise of a six week delivery of a $50 rebate is almost the same thing as an up front payment of $49.95 to AT&T on my next bill.

AT&T? This is one of the many reasons people hate you so much. Because nothing feels above board with you. Of course you could have mentioned this earlier, but you chose not to.

Of course you could have made "free installation" be exactly what it sounded like, but you chose not to.

At some undetermined time in the future, I'm going to get a postcard, or similarly innocuous piece of "please-throw-me-away" mail that will actually contain my $150 gift card. If I (or another member of my family) throw it away by accident - well, TOO BAD.

The additional $25 gift card "sweetener" will arrive (or not) the same way.

And the $50 rebate will do the same. 

Assuming the installer takes my paperwork and doesn't lose it.

Is there a way to check on the status of these things? Who the hell knows?

Multiple chances to NOT get what I've been promised by AT&T guy. Even if everything goes well, I get to be on tenterhooks (make sure I have copies, checking the mail daily) so I get something you could have simply credited to my account. 

YES - I know these rebates are from other companies, but roll it up and make it happen for the customer, already. Why does the customer have to be part of this process?

-because that way less people actually get what we promise them.

Yes, I know that - but how is that advancing your brand? 

AT&T: Watch us like hawks, and things just might work out.

It's always like this with you guys. ALWAYS.

When all is said and done, I'm going to be hooked up to AT&T for another two years and I will actually be saving money from what I used to pay. But you've managed to turn that into a total annoyance fest anyway.

Arrgh!

Postscript:

What actually prompted this post was my calling my current cable company to tell them to end my service.

Because I hate calling them, I'd tried to use their website to end service - but (naturally) their site doesn't support that.

Calling them put me into the hold queue and they asked me to key in my account number. Which I don't know. Not to worry, I could key in the phone number on the account. I have 4 phone numbers and have no idea which they have on my account. There is no menu item for this.

I stay on the line until they route me to a human being (after a five minute wait). I'm asked my name and my account number. I give them my name and tell them I don't have my account number.

For some reason, this stymies them and so (I wish I was kidding) I return to their website while they wait and I log in to get my account number. Then I read it out to them and they say - thanks - I'll transfer you to services.

Before I can yell at them, I'm on hold again. 

The next human I get asks for my name. 

PRO TIP: Once a customer has authenticated, they shouldn't have to again.

So I give them my name and they (wonder of wonders!) look up my account with just that info.

When I tell them that I'm discontinuing service - the questions begin. "Why are you leaving?" "Who are you going with?" "Have you seen our latest offerings?"

Okay, cable guys: By the time the customer has called you to cut off service - THE INK IS DRY on a contract making them financially obligated to some other firm. There is no saving this account.

But no, cable guy tries to win me back until I finally lose my temper and tell him that the decision is made. End of story.

I repeat myself "I need my service to end as of this date. Are we done?"

Cable guy seems miffed, "I just need you to hang on while I..."

Once again, this is another pet peeve of mine: I've authenticated and told the rep what I want. Why do I need to "hang on" while this drone types my request into their system? 

End my service. Email me (using the address you have on file) when it's done. *click*

Cable guy tells me that if I hang up, he'll just get another call and won't be able to process my request.

Because that makes sense. To him. And no one else.

I tell him I'll wait but that I don't need to hear any sales talk. He puts me on hold until he's done.

There. Unpleasant for everyone. Success.

A few minutes of hold later. I'm done with cable.

TiVO's website also doesn't have a cancel service option (no surprise). What is surprising is that calling them puts me on hold for ten minutes. 

When I finally get through, I get the same "Why are you leaving?" pleas, but Mr. TiVO is decent enough to let it go when I say that I've signed a contract with another company. 

Boom. Done.

And I'm on rails with AT&T for the next two years. 

And if I bail out early, they can charge me $180.

Do you see this, world??? This is me winning.

(Now why don't people re-evaluate their cable / phone / internet providers more often? I wonder...)