For the most part, the past few months have been a straight up march towards rollout. Arwafn, the report Runner and I have been working on, is due to be flipped on - for realsies - on the day of the Q4 release, along with all the stuff Data, Sprint, & Heater have been cranking out.
The UX team did a big demo of all the stuff pre-launch (which I missed because little e was sick), but the overall response was positive. This launch will be an oddity for NerdHaven, since most of the functionality will be triggered site by site, when the clients have ramped up their data connections.
Normally, all the new stuff lands like a ton of bricks and post rollout, the devs spend a day putting out fires. This time, a lot of the new stuff was deployed months ago, but has only been turned on for a few customers. The fires are already long gone - and now the UX team are supposed to move onto the next new thing.
Since UX delivers the requirements so the devs can work, we're actually supposed to have started the next new thing awhile ago, so that the post rollout devs don't suddenly find themselves without stuff to do.
So... are we hosed?
The astute reader may have noticed I'd mentioned work by Sprint, Data, Heater, Runner & myself - but not Noddy.
Noddy has no work at all going out in the Q4 Release - which should horrify any self respecting professional. Nearly a full year of effort and what can they claim to have been working on?
Not a hell of a lot actually. But there is this one thing: I'll call it the Vee Project. Vee is something that Noddy seized on back in September as the Thing They Were Working On. It kept them out of our hair and - Amazingly - Noddy did seem to be making stuff.
In the abstract, the Vee Project involves our clients getting data out of a very precise machine, evaluating it and reporting select data bits to the government.
At some point, Noddy sits me down to explain this in excruciating detail and my first impression is Why the hell are we trying to solve this problem?
The clients appear to be getting data out of the machine by writing it down on a clipboard. Later they key this data into a government web app that tells them if they have to key in more details for a given data set.
Noddy tells me that our web app will be a copy of the government's web app - but we won't be able to transmit data to the government site until 2017, because the gov't website isn't set up to do that yet.
In other words, we can't get the initial data electronically (because it's on a clipboard), so our client will have to manually enter it into our application. Since our app cannot send data to the gov't site for over 2 years, our clients will then re-type their data into the gov't site.
This sounds unbelievably stupid - and I say this to Noddy. "Why would someone do this?"
Noddy is unmoved "they want to keep their data. The gov't site won't let them."
"Yeah," I say, "But they have to double enter their data to keep it. That's horrible."
* * * *
* * * *
I'll spare you the play by play - but you get the idea. This is a problem for our users, but (as explained to me, at least) this is not a problem our software will actually solve. Our app will become another mouth to feed, when the original problem was our clients having to feed just one.
This is the problem Noddy has been working on since September - and over a month ago Product informed us that the Vee Project would be the number 1 priority for next year. In our regular reindeer games meeting, Data was conflicted over this. "You know Noddy is going to screw this up. Professionally, we can't allow them to screw up next year's big feature."
At this point, Data's talking to Sprint, Runner, and me. We've all seen Noddy do next to nothing on other projects. If the project is low priority, nothing is done at all. Once it becomes prioritized, Noddy fumbles along until they are given a partner - someone who actually gives a sh!t, like Sprint - and suddenly things start getting done. Not by Noddy, to be sure, they're still on Ebay like always - but you can count on Noddy to offer to help management and Product "with any questions they have."
Meanwhile, Sprint (or Data, or whoever is unlucky enough to get paired up with Noddy) grinds through the work, doing 100% of what should be 50-50.
It's happened before too often - hell, Runner and I got Noddy thrown off Arwafn because all he was doing was coat-tailing on our work.
Noddy's effing up the Vee Project - and saving the project effectively means saving Noddy, too. And nobody wants to save Noddy.
Noddy's effing up the Vee Project - and saving the project effectively means saving Noddy, too. And nobody wants to save Noddy.
Data's a professional - they opt to take the bullet and pair up with Noddy. The Vee Project cannot fail.
With Data's involvement, things start happening immediately. The day after they start on the project, they discover that there is a way for us to get the initial dataset automatically, rather than from manual entry off a clipboard. The Vee Project goes from "bag of suck" to "wow!" after a single day of Data's analysis.
Noddy has been on the same project for almost four months and this avenue of inquiry has never occurred to them. I know this because I'd grilled them on it - and in response to "Where does the data on the clipboard come from? How do we get to that?" all I received was a blank look.
Noddy had been told the information came from a clipboard and that was the end of their analysis. Data contacted the originating device manufacturers, read the manuals, and did a rough survey of customers to determine if a good % of the originating devices are in use by our clients.
And that was day 1 of Data's involvement. Then they began setting up client interviews to tease out the nuts and bolts of getting data from the originating system all the way to the government website. In short order, there are a brace of client interviews about the Vee project. Data sets them up, surveys the participants and leads the discussion.
Noddy... creates a wiki page to store the notes from each session. If I were generous, I would say this is work that takes 15 minutes. At stand up, Noddy tells the team repeatedly that they are "transcribing the interview notes."
Now, I've done transcriptions for the Arwafn project and it can take ridiculous amounts of time. Runner and I started out writing down every word. Eventually, we realized that we were making new interviews faster than we were transcribing old ones. We paired it down to main take aways and supporting quotes and it was still a lot of work.
If Noddy was working on transcription, it could take awhile. Being Noddy - it could be a Long while. But weeks go by - and the only new text that appears on the wiki pages for each interview comes from Data. They're writing up bullet points - a sensible compromise - given what is needed and the amount of work to be done. Not to mention that they are essentially doing this entirely on their own.
If Noddy was working on transcription, it could take awhile. Being Noddy - it could be a Long while. But weeks go by - and the only new text that appears on the wiki pages for each interview comes from Data. They're writing up bullet points - a sensible compromise - given what is needed and the amount of work to be done. Not to mention that they are essentially doing this entirely on their own.
At some point, Noddy adds a single list of bullet point notes to the wiki for a single interview. Out of a half a dozen interviews, Noddy did one - in bullet points - so that might be an hour or two of work.
As expected, the division of labor on the Vee Project is pretty much everything is on Data's shoulders. Noddy is showing up to meetings and not a lot else.
Early on, Noddy was actually doing stuff on the Vee Project. They'd made mockups of two web forms - essentially duplicates of the forms that exist on the government website. Building these forms would be asking our clients to double enter data in our site and the gov't site (since the gov't site doesn't have an API and won't accept data imports until 2017). I could see starting out working on these forms, but they are clearly not high value elements of our solution. To be fair, making them might help a UX person better understand the overall problem. I get that they would be written up. But again - they are a dead end - and they appear to be the only thing Noddy has done.
Around the first week in December Product calls us into a room to assess where we are at and how easy it will be to pivot from work like Arwafn to the new number 1 priority, the Vee Project. Noddy pipes up that we also need to have some work for Nachen, a batch of gov't related work that has traditionally been their bailiwick.
* * * *
Around the first week in December Product calls us into a room to assess where we are at and how easy it will be to pivot from work like Arwafn to the new number 1 priority, the Vee Project. Noddy pipes up that we also need to have some work for Nachen, a batch of gov't related work that has traditionally been their bailiwick.
* * * *
<aside>
This is typical Noddy. The Nachen stuff is convoluted and Noddy grokked up on it pretty good. No one is terribly eager to follow them, so Noddy is largely bulletproof when it comes to Nachen work. Any question will provoke reams of detailed blather from Noddy that few people have the will to investigate enough to pin down. YQA can school them, but almost nobody else.
A portion of the Nachen work comes with a federal mandate, so its priority ranking is largely out of our hands. Noddy clearly enjoys telling everyone that space must be cleared in the schedule for their work. Since Noddy knows the Nachen release schedule, they get to tell Product what must be done and when.
All of this might not be a big deal if Noddy was all the way up to speed and keeping Product in the loop with regular updates. They could be plotting work on the calendar and having it queued up ahead of time. The Nachen work is on a regular schedule - and while there is some variance - we could be ahead of the game. With Noddy, it's almost like each year's update is a complete surprise.
Product is clearly struggling to figure out how much work they need to account for and when. Product is not happy.* * *
</aside>
Back to the meeting. Noddy throws out a cloud of uncertainty about Nachen work - Product flexes hard and pins down Noddy to a defined set of Nachen work that includes the must-haves. The work is not ready, but Noddy is put on notice that it needs to be before we go on winter break.
We have a big discussion about the Vee Project. We ultimately decide that there are two main approaches - the old, broken way that Noddy has started (the duplicate forms) and the new, awesome way (the automated flow that Data has been working towards). We know the automated way will take some time, so we decide to start with the old, broken way and we will plan on hooking those forms up to the new, awesome way as we go along.
Which means Noddy's forms will need to be ready to go before we go on break. Noddy is put on notice of this.
Then Product does an odd thing - they give us homework. I suspect Product is having trouble seeing the foundational research that our feature work is grounded on. On Arwafn, for example - Runner and I have interviews and notes, but there are no aggregate documents to show merged findings and trends so that product can see "yes, this feature is well grounded in research." Product wants some of this foundational research written up before we go too much further on the Vee Project. Since time is short - Product asks everyone on the UX team to pick a Vee Project interview and do a write up of data flow and task flow.
This is odd for lots of reasons, but it will get all of UX read into the Vee Project, and it will get Product a better picture of the common user problems coming out of Data's research. Each of us gets an assigned interview and we are told to have them done by the end of the second week of December.
Product sends us an email summarizing the work each of us is accountable for.
"Each of us" includes Noddy.
* * *
With four days to do my homework from Product - I need to listen to the recorded interview, write up some notes and turn them into two documents and post them to the wiki.
This is not hard. The only complication is that I'm really under-informed on the Vee Project. A lot of things that are said are things I am guessing at, or might misinterpret. Since all our documents will be posted on the wiki - I don't want to look stupid.
Neither does anyone else. Designers are a funny lot - and you can tell some of our UX team is sweating this work. Heater is positively terrified. Heater is more of a traditional business analyst, so these documents are way outside their comfort zone. They don't want to fail in front of product and they are coming over repeatedly to see what the rest of us are making - just to be sure. I have a lot of sympathy for Heater.
Noddy, on the other hand, spends most of the week doing their usual - looking busy. They talk with the offshore contractors about Nachen work, but you can tell they are making a meal out of a morsel. When the subject of our homework comes up - Noddy vacillates between saying they are working on it to saying they really need to start working on it. I'm starting to get the feeling they want help with it - and Runner and I are planning on posting our work as close to the due date as possible so Noddy doesn't repurpose ours and turn it in.
(This is how stupid things have gotten with Noddy. I would spend hours helping Heater if they asked for it, but Noddy? They know how to do this work, they just don't want to put effort into it.)
Noddy's going on a weekend getaway the day our homework is due and is complaining about how they haven't packed and how crazy their week is becoming. I just nod and keep on working. Towards the end of Thursday, Noddy is bemoaning all the things they have to do. It's just Noddy and I in the team room and I get the distinct impression that Noddy is working their way up to asking me to do their work for them. They're hoping I'll volunteer - and I pointedly refuse to do that. Earbuds in, head down. Screw you, Noddy. Do your goddamned work. Noddy finally finishes up with, "I guess I'll come in super early and get this done."
This - from a person who hasn't made it into the office before 9:45 in almost a month.
The next day I'm sick as a dog so I work from home - I think little e was sick, too. I'm done with my work but waiting to post it until later in the day. Noddy's flying out mid-day, so they will only be in the office until 11 or so. Given their usual arrival time, they'd better be early if they want to get anything done.
I'm IM'ing Runner on Friday - homework due day - and learn that Noddy rolled in around 10am and has asked Runner to do the work (in sort of a throwaway manner, like "it's not going to get done, unless you do it... *expectant pause*"). Mentally, Runner says F*&% that noise, and keeps to their own work.
At 2:30, I post my work to the wiki, noting that in the slots where Noddy's work would be- there are only <insert file here> tags.
* * *
Tuesday, December 16.
I'm working from home with what I suspect was the flu - and I get IM'ed by Atlas. They're getting the sense that there is some Vee Project work that is slipping and they want to know what I remember from the earlier meeting with Product. They've been trying to get in contact with Noddy, but only got their voicemail.
I'm straining to remember things when Atlas interrupts to say their phone is ringing - "That might be Noddy now."
Fifteen minutes later, I get IM'ed by Noddy.
You may need a glossary for thisWith that primer, I give you - The Full Noddy...
- Story = discrete unit of work for development
- Epic = group of stories that support a common feature
- RFD = Ready For Development. Story status that means UX is done with it and devs can work on it.
- Ready for Analysis/In Analysis = story statuses that mean UX is ready to start working on it or is still working on it. Devs consider these stories radioactive, since they don't know what the hell they will turn into yet.
Noddy [9:17 AM]: murph
murph [9:18 AM]: Hey
Noddy [9:18 AM]: so were you at the meeting yesterday?
murph [9:18 AM]: Which meeting?
Noddy [9:18 AM]: [project]
murph [9:19 AM]: We had a prioritization meeting yesterday - I wasn't invited to a [project] meeting.
What's up?
Noddy [9:20 AM]: evidently there are some [Vee] stories that are neding some [requirements]
that they wanted to take
and was hoping you knew which ones they were
<aside>This is Noddy, asking me to tell them what work they are supposed to get done - on THEIR project. The one they've been on for over three months.</aside>murph [9:21 AM]: I was linking up stories to the overview page - so in [our project tracker app] if you click on the [Vee] or [Nachen] links you should find lists of stories.
Wait, Product's email might have them. One sec.
Yeah, the email from the 9th. You want me to forward it?
Noddy [9:23 AM]: sure
murph [9:23 AM]: en route now
Noddy [9:25 AM]: hmm
murph [9:25 AM]: I guess it doesn't list exact story numbers, but Product's talking about which features they’re looking for
Noddy [9:26 AM]: just talked to Atlas and they said that I was supposed to have those stories done already and Product clearly has the due date as 12/19....
murph [9:27 AM]: These are just the [Vee Form1 & Vee Form2] - ?
Oh, the [submit data to Nachen], too - that's a beast
Noddy [9:28 AM]: well the [Nachen report] story
which we can't start unless we want to do [2012’s version]
murph [9:28 AM]: Are those done?
<aside>At this point, I was thinking Noddy owed product their data and task flows and a few stories for the Vee Project. Noddy's bringing up the topic of more Nachen work I'd forgotten about.</aside>Noddy [9:29 AM]: what are those?
murph [9:29 AM]: The [2012’s version] stories
Noddy [9:29 AM]: they were talking about having me do all the leg work the other day
but they would have to give me a format to give it to them in
sounds like they are trying to pawn it off
murph [9:30 AM]: Who is 'they?'
Noddy [9:30 AM]: [the West Coast developers]
with [a former developer] gone
they might not know how to do it now
murph [9:31 AM]: Are the [Nachen reports] RFD (Ready For Development, i.e. done)? How many stories are there?
Noddy [9:31 AM]: just one
if they want me to do the tabulizing then no
murph [9:32 AM]: [Is it West Coast story] #438?
Noddy [9:32 AM]: if they are going to do it then yes for 2012
but we were hoping for 2013 due october 15
but delayed due to [an event in the news that has nothing to do with anything]
murph [9:33 AM]: If 438 is the right [Nachen report] story - it's still listed as In Analysis, so [West Coast] won't even be looking at it
murph [9:35 AM]: Why does it have comments from [a West Coast QA] in it?
Is that even the right story?
Noddy [9:35 AM]: it was a copy from an identical story a few years back
<aside>In other words, "I copied and pasted this story from last year's and didn't bother to remove testing notes or update anything. But it's "Ready For Dev"</aside>
murph [9:36 AM]: But this is the right one?
Noddy [9:36 AM]: yes, it is
murph [9:37 AM]: It hasn't been touched in 3 months
Noddy [9:37 AM]: they were waiting for the 2013 [version]
Noddy [9:36 AM]: yes, it is
murph [9:37 AM]: It hasn't been touched in 3 months
Noddy [9:37 AM]: they were waiting for the 2013 [version]
murph [9:37 AM]: We have those, right?
Noddy [9:37 AM]: because they didn't want to do it again in a few months
the 2012 yes
had we known Nachen would have pushed this off so far, then maybe we would have taken the story earlier...
but that would have displaced something else we got done
murph [9:39 AM]: Product's asking for 2012 in their email
<aside>You remember earlier? Noddy was saying "they were waiting for the 2013 version. But on December 9th, Noddy was in a meeting with Product where product said "We're so out of date, we can't wait for the 2013 update. We need to put the 2012 updates in asap." Then Product emailed all of us and put Noddy's name by this item as a To-Do.
Noddy was still waiting for the 2013 update to arrive from Nachen - because it allowed them to continue doing nothing. They've forgotten the meeting, ignored the email and twiddled their thumbs. This is the first moment they are actually reading it and they realize what they've been telling me is total crap. </aside>Noddy [9:39 AM]: then let's make it so
I asked the [West Coast] team to send me a format for the data if they want to take the story
I just love how noone takes ownership
this is how stuff slips through the cracks
murph [9:40 AM]: Noddy, this is your story. You own it.
If they aren't responding, you need to bug them or raise it as a blocker
Noddy [9:41 AM]: yes, and how many times was it pushed aside
murph [9:41 AM]: With the story In Analysis, no dev is going to touch it
Noddy [9:41 AM]: I rallied for it for 3 months
murph [9:42 AM]: Noddy, looking at Product's email, they’re looking for a lot more than this story.
What do we have that is RFD for Nachen/[Vee]?
Noddy [9:42 AM]: I will have to look
murph [9:43 AM]: I'm looking at the [Vee] feature list now- I don't see anything as RFD.
You had stories with mockups, right? how close are those?
Noddy [9:44 AM]:
Most need a few [requirements] then they are good to go
murph [9:44 AM]: I see 6 stories - did Product want all of them by the 19th?
Noddy [9:44 AM]: I had not added the [requirements] becasue I was told to hold off
murph [9:44 AM]: by who?
Noddy [9:44 AM]: Product
becasue they were the "old broken"
and they wanted us to do the "new awesome"
<aside>This is absolute bullsh!t. Product told Noddy exactly the opposite on the 9th.</aside>murph [9:45 AM]: Well, they’ve clearly come around - remember that meeting from early Dec? these were the first step towards [Vee]
Noddy [9:45 AM]: now they wants the old broken
murph [9:45 AM]: Then in Jan we were going to hook up the dynamic stuff
Noddy [9:45 AM]: but they has has me tasked on everything else
and Nachen
and [offshore]
and the soup of the day
murph [9:46 AM]: Then the time to cry out isn't three days before they expect this stuff
jesus, Noddy
Noddy [9:46 AM]: just getting [offshore devs] set up
murph [9:46 AM]: What the hell? You'd been doing [Vee] since before thanksgiving
If Product just wants a basic form we could have given them an RFD by now.
What can we give them by Friday?
Noddy [9:47 AM]: I forgot that the [requirements] were not done
I was going to finish it in the next 30 in
min
it is that short
<aside>It is absolutely not that short.</aside>murph [9:48 AM]: Plus validation, that's not quick.
I didn't think the [Vee form 2] was that short, either.
Do we have all the [latest version of Nachen] stuff?
RFD, I mean?
Noddy [9:48 AM]: [Vee form 2] is not in that path
murph [9:49 AM]: Okay, so no [Vee form 2].
That's good.
Noddy [9:49 AM]: the [latest version of Nachen] stiff that breaks is
I also have other additions that are ready as well
murph [9:49 AM]: What stories for [latest version of Nachen] are RFD?
Noddy [9:49 AM]: gave Product a longlist
murph [9:50 AM]: more importantly, what stories for [latest version of Nachen] aren't RFD and need to be by Friday?
Noddy [9:50 AM]: I will look into it now
make sure that they are ready
and queued up
murph [9:51 AM]: And the [Send data to Nachen], no way that's happening by Friday
<aside>I'm starting to freak out at this point. Product's email has a LOT of action items assigned to Noddy. I knew they were behind on some items, but this is a large wedge of work that looks to be in the ditch.</aside>
Noddy [9:51 AM]: the [Send data to Nachen] stuff is done
murph [9:51 AM]: RFD and good to go?
Noddy [9:51 AM]: that was ready months ago
on the UI side yes
murph [9:51 AM]: RFD and good to go?
Noddy [9:51 AM]: that was ready months ago
on the UI side yes
murph [9:52 AM]: Which story is it?
Noddy [9:52 AM]: there are several
search for direct [Send data to Nachen]
there is an epic
murph [9:53 AM]: Epic [under our team project], right?
Noddy [9:53 AM]: lemmie check
murph [9:54 AM]: I see two stories listed as Ready for Analysis, but they have [requirements]
Noddy [9:54 AM]: yes, that looks correct
they are RFD
<aside>This is another pet peve of mine. Noddy doesn't do the work and doesn't progress it properly so the team knows what to do. If the story was marked RFD, somebody downstream would have looked at it by now and we'd know if it needed more work or not. Since it wasn't tagged properly, the evaluation of "is it RFD?" will have to start now. </aside>murph [9:55 AM]: These look like they need tech review, but [requirements] is a good start
Noddy [9:55 AM]: already went over them with Big Dog and OneTwentyEight
murph [9:55 AM]: Right, but a review with them would be good. They were pinging me yesterday about a story they reviewed over a month ago. They're not going to remember
Noddy [9:56 AM]: Big Dog says we need to meet with the architechture team to decide on a modle to use for hte backend
murph [9:56 AM]: Plus - knowing thiese are up in priority will help them focus on the backend rampup needed.
I don't even know if Big Dog/OneTwentyEight are in later this week
Noddy [9:56 AM]: I have been pushing this for several months and getting blown off
murph [9:57 AM]: Well, your time has come with a vengeance. Acc'ding to Product, this stuff is up
Noddy [9:57 AM]: kinda sucks that the moment I get a few days off they want to focus on in and have me work on it
murph [9:58 AM]: Noddy, Product's email is from the 9th.
This is sudden, but not that sudden
Noddy [9:58 AM]: and I have been swamped with other stuff as well since then
murph [9:59 AM]: I get that, but the time to squawk about that was on the 9th, not the 16th
Noddy [9:59 AM]: I even came in on friday (my first day of PTO) to work on it
murph [9:59 AM]: This is going to be brutal
<aside>This is me freaking out. Product wanted a LOT to be ready and Noddy has practically nothing.</aside>Noddy [9:59 AM]: how many devs do we have?
murph [10:00 AM]: ?
Noddy [10:00 AM]: are Big Dog and OneTwentyEight working the next two weeks?
How about the [West Coast] devs?
<aside>This is Noddy's smokescreen attempt. "Hey! there won't be devs in the office over the holidays, so my deadlines don't matter."</aside>murph [10:01 AM]: I dunno, I'm thinking Big Dog is out at least.
But I don't think that's the point - I think Product wanted this stuff in the can prior to the break
Noddy [10:02 AM]: So the programming elves are gooing to be in working on the code then..
murph [10:03 AM]: Noddy, I don't set the deadlines - if you want to debate the due date, take it up with Product. I'm just saying their email says they wants all that by Friday.
If that can't/shouldn't happen - the person who should be advised of that is Product
Noddy [10:03 AM]: OK
I will make it so
and I will talk to them...if they are available
murph [10:04 AM]: Let me know if they change priorities.
Noddy [10:04 AM]: OK
sorry to vent on you
murph [10:04 AM]: No prob.
Noddy [10:05 AM]: are you taking PTO?
<aside>Translation: "Will you be around to help me with these?"</aside>murph [10:05 AM]: Between Christmas and New Years. Today I'm WFH, because I have the croup-y cough that's going around - and I imagine folks don't want me to share.
<aside>Translation: No Effing Way.</aside>
Noddy [10:07 AM]: well I have a terrible headache
and need to catch up on my sleep
my flight [home] on Sunday was canceled and I was forced to spend the night in the airport
then fly to [hub city] and take a bus to get home
murph [10:08 AM]: You slept in the [resort town] airport?
Noddy [10:08 AM]: and after a weekedn in [resort town]
no Denver
murph [10:08 AM]: stlll, ick
Noddy [10:08 AM]: yes
fog
closed the airport
murph [10:09 AM]: Good times
Noddy [10:09 AM]: OK, Ill get the [requirements] done for the [Vee] form
that should placate the beast
murph [10:10 AM]: And talk with Product. They need to know what's what.
Noddy [10:10 AM]: yes
* * *
And while that is a lot (an awful lot) the Full Noddy experience is still not complete. Because there is a backstory to that last exchange that you truly need to appreciate.
Noddy's saying how awful their trip back from the resort town was - but I already know. The reason I know is because Runner told me.
How does Runner know about Noddy's crappy flight home?
Because, on Monday (Dec 15th) while Runner was in Tennessee on a site visit - Noddy texted them at 6:15am to tell them that they "wouldn't make it home until the evening" so Noddy wouldn't be in to the office like they'd planned.
Oh, and they wanted Runner to contact Product and tell them that Noddy wouldn't be able to do their homework.
There is so much wrong going on there, I need to unpack that.
But the capstone to all of this - the cherry on this sh!tpile sundae, is the reflexive bit of bullcrap that Noddy just couldn't resist laying down. Needlessly, as it turns out.
Noddy texts Runner to say they won't be in to the office until late because of their air travel problems. Runner has a smartphone and checks to see what delays are happening out of [resort town] and finds the flight trackers aren't agreeing with what Noddy's saying. While it's probably true that Noddy slept in the Denver airport like they said, we know for a fact that they made it home during daylight hours.
How? Because Noddy's facebook page shows them in a movie theatre - in town - standing next to some dude dressed as Gandalf.
Noddy's a huge Hobbit fan - and on the 15th the movie theaters were offering a three movie marathon that started around noon. The picture's timestamp shows he was at the theater at 3pm.
Noddy is so epically full of sh!t.
And again, there was no reason to lie. "I'll be out all day" was all he needed to say and that would be the end of it. His homework documents for Product were already late, so having an alibi for Monday doesn't help him a bit. People might have been looking for him, but a simple "I was flying back on Monday" would have covered it. No, he had to make up some dramatic story- and then completely kneecap it with his own stupidity via social media.
So now you know.
That's the Full Noddy. Full throttle awful, all across the board.
And they've been like this ever since I started here. Why UXDir ever put up with this is utterly beyond me.
But the winds of change are blowing - and this latest collapse has not gone unnoticed by the higher ups.
Yesterday, when checked the wiki for Noddy's homework being posted, it still said
<insert file here>
Stay tuned.
and need to catch up on my sleep
my flight [home] on Sunday was canceled and I was forced to spend the night in the airport
then fly to [hub city] and take a bus to get home
murph [10:08 AM]: You slept in the [resort town] airport?
Noddy [10:08 AM]: and after a weekedn in [resort town]
no Denver
murph [10:08 AM]: stlll, ick
Noddy [10:08 AM]: yes
fog
closed the airport
murph [10:09 AM]: Good times
Noddy [10:09 AM]: OK, Ill get the [requirements] done for the [Vee] form
that should placate the beast
murph [10:10 AM]: And talk with Product. They need to know what's what.
Noddy [10:10 AM]: yes
* * *
And while that is a lot (an awful lot) the Full Noddy experience is still not complete. Because there is a backstory to that last exchange that you truly need to appreciate.
Noddy's saying how awful their trip back from the resort town was - but I already know. The reason I know is because Runner told me.
How does Runner know about Noddy's crappy flight home?
Because, on Monday (Dec 15th) while Runner was in Tennessee on a site visit - Noddy texted them at 6:15am to tell them that they "wouldn't make it home until the evening" so Noddy wouldn't be in to the office like they'd planned.
Oh, and they wanted Runner to contact Product and tell them that Noddy wouldn't be able to do their homework.
There is so much wrong going on there, I need to unpack that.
- Texting a co-worker's cell in general - sans prior permission, this is not okay.
- Texting a co-worker at 6:15 in the goddamned morning.
- Texting a co-worker at 6:15 in the goddamned morning when they are on the road.
- Texting a co-worker who is a parent at 6:15 in the goddamned morning when they are on the road. I dunno about you, but if I'm away from home and get a text at 6:15am, I'm thinking somebody's had a car accident, or my kid is missing.
- Texting a co-worker to tell them you are going to be out of the office. Seriously, you have a smart phone and NerdHaven has webmail. You need to contact the office? Email your supervisor and your team. Runner isn't your goddamned secretary.
- Texting a co-worker to ask them to tell a higher up that you are going to miss a deadline.
- Chickenshit. Tell the higher ups your goddamned self.
- The work was due the previous Friday anyway, so dude - it's been late for three days now. Like you need another update.
- You have a smartphone and webmail - why are you texting a third party, dumbass?
But the capstone to all of this - the cherry on this sh!tpile sundae, is the reflexive bit of bullcrap that Noddy just couldn't resist laying down. Needlessly, as it turns out.
Noddy texts Runner to say they won't be in to the office until late because of their air travel problems. Runner has a smartphone and checks to see what delays are happening out of [resort town] and finds the flight trackers aren't agreeing with what Noddy's saying. While it's probably true that Noddy slept in the Denver airport like they said, we know for a fact that they made it home during daylight hours.
How? Because Noddy's facebook page shows them in a movie theatre - in town - standing next to some dude dressed as Gandalf.
Noddy's a huge Hobbit fan - and on the 15th the movie theaters were offering a three movie marathon that started around noon. The picture's timestamp shows he was at the theater at 3pm.
Noddy is so epically full of sh!t.
And again, there was no reason to lie. "I'll be out all day" was all he needed to say and that would be the end of it. His homework documents for Product were already late, so having an alibi for Monday doesn't help him a bit. People might have been looking for him, but a simple "I was flying back on Monday" would have covered it. No, he had to make up some dramatic story- and then completely kneecap it with his own stupidity via social media.
So now you know.
That's the Full Noddy. Full throttle awful, all across the board.
And they've been like this ever since I started here. Why UXDir ever put up with this is utterly beyond me.
But the winds of change are blowing - and this latest collapse has not gone unnoticed by the higher ups.
Yesterday, when checked the wiki for Noddy's homework being posted, it still said
<insert file here>
Stay tuned.
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