Incommunicado

Mom's been the vector of family news for some time now - I hear about it because everybody calls her. Nobody call me because - quite frankly - I never call them.

This past week, mom was traveling in the Grand Canyon. No cell, no internet. So mom's off taking nature photos and somewhere, her phone was ringing off the hook.

Two long-delayed items finally happened, and neither of them were good.

First up - My uncle K had to put his dog Scooby to sleep. Scooby was the smartest, mildest, most user-friendly dog I ever knew. He was like my uncle - very low key, did his own thing - just a great hound dog all round. No great mystery or surprise, Scoob was getting old - and nature took its course. Just a shame.

The closer was also no surprise, just a sad end to a sadder story.

DB, Dad's cousin, lost his wife, JB last week. She had been suffering for years with that particularly cruel form of alzheimers that allows you to be fully functional, yet forget even basic things like speaking. I'd last spoken to DB at dad's funeral, and he was there alone. I knew it was bad, and we avoided the subject. I last saw her at the local festival and she'd smiled a lot and said nothing. After we'd said our goodbyes, Dad had pointed out that she wasn't shy - she just forgot how to talk somedays. She would have been about my dad's age - way too young for a disease like that. DB was like my grandfather, taking care of a person who didn't even know who he was. I can't even imagine.

So there's an end to their suffering, but it is such a dreadful thing. Alzheimers is called the "Long Goodbye," but it’s so much worse than that. By the time it finally consents to let you go, your loved ones are usually too spent to grieve in any normal way. DB's family has not had an easy go of it for lots of reasons - they just never get a break.

Dad would have been there - I would have gladly stood in for him.

I just wish I'd heard about it in time to do something.