The Big House

The first time we bought a house, I was a nervous wreck. The assessment for the house was well below what we were paying, and I had a panicked last minute "am I crazy?" visit with the banker the night before we signed. I just wanted to disappear until it all went away.

The fact that I was asking a banker for advice shows you how crappy I am at the art of the deal. Bankers will cheerfully deliver you into financial ruin so long as they get their closing costs. They're going to sell the loan off, anyway - what do they care?

This time around, we're in a better financial position - and we've located a house that is, amazingly, the two things we thought we would never get - living space AND a neighborhood.

But we'd have to reach. The fact that we have inherited investments is the only reason we are able to play in this league - and we are acutely aware of being financially obligated to payments that will need to be supplemented with investment withdrawals.

And the seller is not convinced that this is as much of a buyer's market as we are. They've come down substantially, but we have not gotten the royal road to our financial sweet spot.

This house will need work, and is old enough to have some surprises. The closing on our own house is beginning to loom large. Soon, we will have to move - even if it is into an apartment or my sister's basement.

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So what do you do?

We have a cheaper alternative house, that is just barely the space we need. It has no need of immediate repair (that we know of) and is in a decent neighborhood. The seller appears to be delusional about their price. The asking price is lower than the Big House, but far outstrips where the market is at. Negotiations could take over a week, and there's no guarantee that this person will be willing to close in the time frame we need.

At present, the Big House is thirteen large over where we wanted to be.

In the larger sense, this extra amount is chump change compared to the size of the loan we would agree to - but there's the notion that we are close to our limits, and a general belligerence over the fact that the seller won't just suck it up and drop their price.

My gut says just buy the damn house - E's on the fence, but in the back of my mind is my own realization that I suck at the deal.

Is this just another symptom of my inability to play hardball? or would sticking to our initial offer be cheating the family out of a home that we would love to live in?

The ball is in our court, and I'm starting to get that feeling again.

Like I just want it to all go away.