President Bush is resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital

With Pres. Bush's increasingly desperate attempts to get the media's attention - I feel like somebody should tell him to relax: You're not being ignored, Mr. President. Oh, sure - you're a despised lame duck whose every utterance is grammatical genocide - but we're still interested in you as a person.

And okay, the mainstream media is all-Obama, all the time - but America can still follow G.W.B.'s post-election progress in its Finest News Source.

I give you - the "resting comfortably" series:

• November 12, 2008 - Bush Tumbles Wildly Down Washington Monument Staircase
  
  
• November 19, 2008 - Crocodile Bites Off Bush's Arm
  
  
• November 28, 2008 - Bush Passes Three-Pound Kidney Stone
  
  
• December 4, 2008 - Bush Dragged Behind Presidential Motorcade For 26 Blocks
  
  
• December 8, 2008 - Bush's Eyelid Accidentally Nailed To Wall
  
  
• January 6, 2009 - Single-Engine Cessna Crashes Into Bush
  
  
• January 14, 2009 - Spider Eggs Hatch In Bush's Brain
  

Cheer up, Mr. Almost-no-longer-the-President, we haven't forgotten you.