So, I'm at the car dealership getting some work done on the car. No biggie. And I notice that they have a television in the lobby and - hey! - the Switzerland-Ukraine match should still be in the second half right now.
I look around, no one's even glancing at the TV. So I'm looking at the staffer, soon as they look up - I'm going to ask them if they could switch it to ESPN.
And there's this lady there. Middle-age type. Groomed. She's giving me the eye like she's afraid I'm going to ask to change the channel or something. She just sat down, but is clearly agitated in some way.
The staffer looks up, and I ask if she can switch the TV over to ESPN. I smile "it's the World Cup."
Middle age lady pipes up. "Ugh. Soccer! Bo-o-o-ring!"
I smile and say what I always say to people like this, "It's the only game the world plays."
Staffer is fiddling with the controls and making nothing but static.
Middle age pauses, like she's overstepped "I'm just kidding you." Then she finds her stride, "but if we're taking a vote, I'd like to watch 'Guiding Light.'"
Staffer can't figure out why the TV is displaying static or CNN. I realize that she's adjusting the TV and not the cable box, but at this point - it's really not worth it. Switzerland is typically pulseless, and Ukraine hasn't exactly been a wow-fest. And, truth be told, I really don't care who wins. This was just a way to pass the time.
I sit down and resign myself to the lobby magazines. Middle age now wants to be my friend. "I read an article about soccer just the other day."
I start to mutter some affirmation, but she continues.
"It was about Beckham. I guess he won the game. I saw his movie."
Inside, my self-control is holding my reflexive response at gunpoint.
"Bend it like Beckham?" is the only phrase it will allow to escape.
She's glad that we're friends now, "Yes, that was a great movie."
I dive into my magazine, and don't come up until the mechanic arrives to tell her she can leave.
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Ok, I'll spare you the the "Becks is a one-trick show-pony" rant and the "He's not even in the damn movie, you witless twonk," rant.
I'll even sidestep the classic "There are only two stories about soccer for you, right? 'Beckham/Posh did something' and 'US loses'"
We'll also skip the ever-popular "Boring? This country has a Golf Channel. We televise the pro-bowling tour. There are dozens upon dozens of fishing shows!!!!"
-But I do have to have one rant: the "Why don't you just shut the hell up, lady?" rant. I mean really, if she'd have beaten me to the punch and asked for Guiding Light - I would't have said, "Soap operas? Stu-pid!" I'd have looked for a magazine and kept my mouth shut.
I mean, what the hell? Who does that? Snarks a complete stranger's TV choice out loud in a roomful of people?
Some other day, she's telling her book club how the younger generation has no manners. Well, from my generation: Just shut way the hell up, lady.
6 comments:
Only people who know nothing about Soccer...but like to affect that they do...call Beckham a Show Pony.
I tend to think that the management of Real Madrid don't push huge wedges of cash in his direction because he looks good in the shirt.
He's played for two clubs in his career...auguably the two most prestigious on the Planet. And he's scored in the last three World Cup tournaments.
He has had a decisive part in every important goal England have scored thus far in this competiton.
He Rocks.
Deal with it.
Just saw the Brazil v. Ghana match this morning. Ghana outplayed them for a good chunk of the match; they just didn't finish their chances.
The building I work in has satellite access to foreign language programming and I wish I could have photographed the crowd huddled around the Telemundo feed in the hallway. There must have been 6 guys standing there watching the of the Brazil V. Ghana match. Instead of class change noise, you could hear "Oh!" and "GOAL!" and general soccer commentary. I was working in an office near there, and they were really into it. Stood there for the better part of an hour.
And by the way, Guiding Light sucks. Only old people watch it.
Anon,
I'd agree that Becks has game, for the reasons you mention - and a slew of ones you don't.
But I still can't stand the guy.
Deal with that.
Beckham may be a one-trick pony, but Posh is one hell of a trick :)
I was going to type up several responses that you could have used, most of them would have gotten you an argument, some of them would have gotten you red-carded. So I shall only leave you with one:
"Guiding Light?" (start laughing and act like you need to wipe a tear from your eye) "that's a good one."
That would have been good.
I'm sure it shows, but I was pretty ticked off at life in general on that day, but she was a person who managed to annoy me before she'd even said anything.
-Then she just opened her mouth and started getting momentum. Ugh.
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