Tiger: Please Believe My Press Conference

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I could give a crap about contrition. The idea that a public figure must be seen to apologize - in person and in public - has become so engrained in our culture that celebrity handlers have fashioned elaborate PR kabuki like Tiger's love fest:

In front of a hand-picked audience of about 40 mostly inner-circle people that included his mother, Kultida, but not his wife, Elin, Woods made his most direct statement about admitted infidelities in his marriage.

Okay, you're admitting something you were caught red-handed doing, so what?

He apologized.

Again, so what?

He did not address a return to the PGA Tour until near the end of his statement, saying: “I do plan to return to golf one day, I just don’t know when that day will be. I don’t rule out that it will be this year.”

Oh, you want to golf this year... you just want to prepare us for that eventuality. Take the scorn and abuse now, so that later you can be hailed as bravely emerging from scandal - a new man. Determined to prove himself.

Oh, how I eagerly await the love fest of the PGA loudly welcoming the Tiger Woods lightning rod into their fall TV line up.

There, there... we still love you... now smile for the cameras....

Not like the PGA could or would punish him for his personal life. And it's certainly not like he should never play golf again.

I just get tired of professional image management.