Thanks for playing

This was supposed to be a close match.


Scoreline - September 22, 2007
Germany: 3
Garefrekes 44'; Lingor 67'; Krahn 72'
Korea DPR: 0

What was billed as a clash between two of the top teams in the world ended as a German drubbing of a North Korean team that was clearly unaccustomed to digging themselves out of a hole.

That hole opened up with some sparkling play from the best named winger in women's football-

Garefrekes! Garefrekes! Garefrekes!

Yep, she was finally back in her usual spot on the right - and having waited 44 minutes for Prinz to score - Kirsten Garefrekes took matters into her own hands. A beautiful solo effort, too. Taking on a defender, a quick swerve and a textbook curling shot around the keeper.

A little over twenty minutes later, Renate Lingor did scored on a virtual mirror image of Garefrekes' goal, bending another goal into the corner of the net.

With that, North Korea pretty much reverted to desperation mode. A seasoned team like Germany goes down a goal or two - they pick the ball out of the net and keep on their gameplan. North Korea seemed to deflate after Lingor's goal - they attacked, but you could see they were beaten. Assuming North Korea doesn't vanish back into their secret lair for the next few years - this team could very well come back and do some more damage.

So much for my hopes for this match being a drain on the victor. The Germans are flying now, and should be more than ready for China or the Norge in the semi-final.

---
And then there was that other game...

You just knew it was going to start with her, didn't you?

Scoreline - September 22, 2007
USA: 3
Wambach 48'; Boxx 57'; Lilly 60'
England: 0

Here was another game that could have really been a bruiser. England had stymied the Germans, and had a star striker in Kelly Smith. Add to that, that the US has been starting very sloppy, and our offensive combinations have not been very encouraging. Crosses go to no one, players hacking instead of passing - we were clearly ripe for a disaster.

Enter Abby Wambach. I seriously believe if we were down by ten goals vs. the armies of hell, she'd be elbowing past defenders and screaming for the ball.

I love this woman.

After a scoreless first half this game could easily have gone south on us. Both teams had some agonizing near goals, and all it would take is some freak rebound for us to be clawing our way uphill again.

Then we start piling on the corner kicks and Lilly curls one to Wambach. She leads with her sewn-together head like a guided missile - Goal. Complete turning point for the match.

Abby's goal takes the edge off - lets the team play confident, and they start doing what they always do: take over.

The back line starts stepping up. England's play time in front of our goal flat out ends - and we start going forward with something approaching our usual selves.

We still weren't combining all that well in attack, but we didn't need to. Boxx's goal was individual, opportunistic, and damn good soccer. Pouncing on what would have been a clearance, she hammers it just inside the pipe while everyone's still looking the wrong way.

Lilly's goal was due to (yet) another goalkeeping screwup - honestly, what does it take for a goalkeeper to realize that a ball falling from great height will bounce? - but (as much as I think Lilly should be playing in midfield) she did a textbook job of continuing the run, controlling the ball, and making the goal look easier than it was.

Down by three and facing the best back line in soccer, England kept fighting but they were never close after Lilly's goal.

Hope Solo looked like real quality in the net for a change. I'm hopeful that she's put her PRK screwup behind her (not that I forgive her - she stops that shot we win, Sweden's in and the PRK goes home - grr!).

We are not top form right now, but defensively we are firing on all cylinders, the midfield has finally solidified, and we have Abby.

Now all we have to do is locate our slashing/overlapping attack from years past and we'll have more than a good chance of winning this thing.

"We have located the culprit, and it was us..."

I hope I'm not alone in scratching my head on this one.

From the WSJ:

Mattel Apologizes to China Over Recall

BEIJING – Toymaker Mattel issued an extraordinary apology to China on Friday over the recall of Chinese-made toys, saying most of the items were defective because of Mattel's design flaws rather than faulty manufacturing. The company added that it had recalled more lead-tainted Chinese toys than was justified.
...
Mattel ordered three high-profile recalls this summer of millions of Chinese-made toys, including Barbie doll accessories and toy cars, because of concerns about lead paint and tiny magnets that could be swallowed. The "vast majority of those products that were recalled were the result of a design flaw in Mattel's design, not through a manufacturing flaw in China's manufacturers," Mr. Debrowski said. Lead-tainted toys accounted for only a small percentage of all toys recalled, he said. "We understand and appreciate deeply the issues that this has caused for the reputation of Chinese manufacturers," he said.

Mattel said in a statement its lead-related recalls were "overly inclusive, including toys that may not have had lead in paint in excess of the U.S. standards. The follow-up inspections also confirmed that part of the recalled toys complied with the U.S. standards."

So... here's my question - What the hell was behind this reversal?

did Mattel just find Jesus? Were they scapegoating China and just got caught? Did China put the screws to them so they would play nice?

I mean, what the heck are we supposed to believe about this mess? Mattel designed killer magnets and recalled toys with safe levels of lead paint?

Killing off the minnows

The early rounds of any tournament are the best. The wider the field, the greater the chance for – well, chance to muck up all the ironclad expectations of the pundits.

In any matchup you’ll have a favorite. Early on, less is known about the team’s ability to play right now. You’re more apt for a surprise.

The more games are played, the more calcified the predictions become. There are simply less unknowns waiting in ambush. Teams have adjusted to surprises, and probability takes over.

This took a lot of fun out of the last round of matches: A series where the big fish killed off the lesser species, as if it was simply something to do to pass the time.

Scoreline - September 20, 2007
Match 1
Norway: 7
Storlokken 4'; Gulbrandsen 39', 59', 62'; Stangeland Horpestad 45' pen; Herlovsen 56'; Klaveness 69'
Ghana: 2
Bayor 73'; Okoe 80' pen

Match 3
China: 2
Li 57'; Xie 79'
New Zealand: 0

Match 4
Brazil: 1
Pretinha 91'
Denmark: 0

-wait, 1, 3, 4. What about Match 2?

I’m glad you asked:

Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!

Match 2
Australia: 2
McCallum 53'; Salisbury 92'
Canada 2
Tancredi 1'; Sinclair 85'

While this was certainly not a clash of titans, Canada had the better record, the lead, and was certain to advance until the 92nd minute - when Australia’s Lisa De Vanna pulled a long ball out of the air.

Inside the box, she beat one defender, then another, then the same one again before crossing the ball to her captain. Salisbury, on a dead run and with the entire Canadian defense still watching De Vanna, smashed home the equalizing goal.

It was frickin’ beautiful.

Canada needed three points to advance, but Australia needed only one – and a draw means the Matildas go on and Canada goes home.

An absolutely dream finish for the never-say-die Aussies – I only wish the reward for this match wasn’t a date with Marta and the Brazilian steamroller.

Brazil only managed one measly goal against the Danes, so maybe the Aussies can keep ruining people’s predictions.

I certainly hope so.

Here's the bracket:

Go USA! Go Aussies!

Rain delay

All matches postponed on account of typhoon Wipha.

Take a good look at a future star of women's soccer...

...because she's going home.

Scoreline - September 18, 2007
Korea DPR: 1
Ri 22'
Sweden: 2
Schelin 4', 54'

Charlotta Schelin may look happy, but the final score would leave her more like the Korean keeper. Sweden needed to win by three goals to advance - and while they did well, it just wasn't enough.

Cryin' shame, because Sweden has never gone out in the first round before and Schelin was finally hitting her stride. Her, you will see again - but I think this will likely be it for Ljungberg and Svensson. They should have won the last world cup when they were in their prime.

That's soccer.

In other news, the US edged out Nigeria:

Scoreline - September 18, 2007
Nigeria: 0
USA: 1
Chalupny 1'

We probably should have done better vs. this team, but when you are sure of advancing and all but assured of winning the group, there's not much inclination to go for broke.

Unless you're Abby Wambach, of course. She was her usual wild and crazy self out there - something I would normally not have much of a problem with. Late in the game she spent an inordinate amount of time killing clock in the corner and getting hacked on.

A common way to kill time late in the game is to go into the opponent's corner with the ball and just hold onto it. Most takeaway attempts will lead to throw ins or - even better - corner kicks. The down side, aside from being boring to watch, is that the player stalling gets whacked by defenders in the process.
(How do I know this? Julie Foudy told me so, and I believe everything she says. You should, too. She should have her own show - it should be called "JP Dellacamera knows nothing about soccer, so I'm taking over!")

I digress. Ahem - Placing yourself in harm's way to kill clock.

This is fine if you are an anonymous midfielder - but it is not okay if you are the irreplaceable power forward and the lynch pin of your team's offense. The after action reports may show that Abby was just stalling on the injuries (another thing I'm not fond of), so perhaps this is all moot - but if she's taking real whacks - she should pass the damn ball.

Our midfield woke up for this match, and we had some good chances - but we were not a dominating force. We're through to the next round- and we get to face England and Kelly Smith (mostly Kelly Smith).

At least they are not Germany. North Korea gets that prize and they are welcome to it. I'm hoping whoever emerges from that furball will be whacked and covered in yellow cards by the time we have to see them again.

On to the knockout round!

Look ma, I'm a co-sponsor of habeas legislation...!

While it is unclear what (if any) weight will be given to a list of ordinary citizens attached to a Senate bill, there is certainly no harm in doing so.

Sens. Leahy and Dodd are trying to push a Restore Habeas bill in the Senate, a measure that is long overdue. So, when Digby pointed it out, I jumped.

It's part of Dodd's presidential bid, but frankly I don't care. The bill's life arc will be determined long before next November and any push we can give it now is a good thing.

It's name and email, and 5 seconds of your time. Why not?

If you need a refresher, here's one, and here's another.

Rock me, Garefrekes!!

Birgit Prinz, celebrating her record breaking 13th World Cup goal.

Scoreline - September 17, 2007
Germany: 2
Prinz 21'; Lingor 87' pen
Japan: 0

Contrary to my expectations, Germany proved that they had saved a low gear for just this kind of game. Japan is a lousy team, and Germany only needed a draw.

That said, even in low gear they still managed to run away with the game. Prinz and company missed numerous opportunities, but thoroughly dominated their tentative opponents. Early in the game, you got the impression that Germany could have defended their net with just a sign reading "Please do not score goals" in Japanese.

Japan was unable to make any kind of meaningful offense. Sure, they had the occasional lone runs toward goal, but nothing approaching anything with real numbers going forward. A goal down in a "win or go home" match - you'd think the coach would throw everybody and the goalkeeper forward. At least you'd die trying.

Instead, Japan inched closer and closer to crossing the German's 18 yard line, before skying a shot, or crossing the ball into empty space. Weak.

Germany let their foot off the gas. Late in the game there were some incredibly sloppy clearances by their back line that Japan's offense (had it existed) could have pounced on.

Smisek missed some easy ones and Wimbersky will be seeing a few missed chances in her sleep tonight - but no hints of future problems. They are Germany, and they'll shake it off and trample whoever comes next.

I'm really hoping the US can top their group, so we don't go up vs Germany right off the bat.

---
Not that England would be snack food, either.

Scoreline - September 17, 2007
England: 6
Gonzalez 9'; Scott 10'; Williams 50' pen; Smith 64', 77'; Exley 90' pen
Argentina: 1
Gonzalez 60'

Having watched them wipe the floor with an Argentine side that supposedly was playing for pride, I'm not sure what to think of England's team.

Beating up the Argies would be more impressive if this weren't a team that in 230 minutes had only managed to score goals for the opposition: three times. (Yes, I know - FIFA took pity on the goalkeeper and reassigned those goals to German players, but facts are facts).

Smith is the real deal - managing to either break loose for some solo brilliance, or seemingly omnipresent when there is a loose ball in the box. I don't know that the rest of her team can live up to her - but the fact that they could hold the Germans scoreless is no small thing.

Still, I'm the US, I want to play England. Let North Korea march into the teeth of Germans. They deserve each other.

Welcome to Samba Queen University

Welcome, China - we are Brasil. Your instructors for today will be Professor Marta and Professor Christiane

Are you comfortable?

Let's run through today's curriculum:

• Lesson one: How to make the keeper and her entire back line crap their pants at the same time.
• Lesson two: Slotting the ball just inside the post, like it ain't no thang.
• Lesson three: How to make the keeper cry.
  and finally,
• Lesson four: How to score while moving away from the net.
  

---
Yeah, it was like that. China got their butts handed to them. Unless Denmark beats Brazil and China tanks hard against New Zealand, China will still advance. But it's still nice to see the hosts get rolled in front of the home crowd.

The Samba Queens are here for the Cup, and I don't see anyone performing miracles on the pitch like them. The US should be nervous. Germany should be nervous. If their defense holds, I don't think anyone can withstand this team.

Abby Wambach will not be stopped by human resistance

Match result below picture. You were warned.

Trap. Volley. Score. Goddamn right.

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Scoreline – September 14, 2007
USA: 2
Wambach 34' pen, 58'
Sweden: 0

What is it I love most about Abby Wambach? Her manic drive to blast by defenders? Her disregard for her personal safety?

Mainly it is that all she knows how to do is attack. Up two goals, down two goals, Abby wants to bash one in for the USA.

Perhaps they have to chain her up at night.

Whatever - I'm happy. The US team started poorly again, allowing Sweden to charge at them at will for the first half hour. This does not bode well - but (yet) another goalkeeping blunder gave the US what they needed. Lindahl, the green keeper for Sweden totally misjudged a high bouncing ball and let it go over her.

Chalupny charged after it, forcing her marker into a diving tackle that missed and resulted in a penalty.

Abby put it in, and after that it was all US all the time. We still are looking ragged in the midfield. Coach Ryan put Boxx in to solidify things, and it did get better - but our clearances are still uncontrolled. All hail, Abby though. High pressure PK and she's up to it. The team clearly feeds off her confidence- and this is good. They just need to self start sometimes.

Lilly missed a few good opportunities, but provided a divine setup for Abby's second goal - an inSANE over the shoulder trap and volley that would have injured any goalkeeper foolish enough to attempt a save.

Even better was Abby's description of the shot. The TV guy is asking her to relive it, expecting her to rhapsodize about it.

Instead, she says:
"I didn't really look at the goal. I hit it as hard as I could and hoped for the best."

Perfection. She doesn't think about it, doesn't romatacize it. She scores because it's her nature to score.

We're tied for top of the group, with only Nigeria to beat. Our only true threats (Sweden and North Korea) will nullify each other.

Smooth sailin'

Pray for Japan

It happens all the time. A team dominates so completely that they let up a bit in their next match, thinking:

Perhaps we are all that, and a bag of chips.

Their opposition, having absorbed every detail of the previous smackdown, starts searching for an extra gear.

Sometimes these two tendencies are all that is needed to confound all other factors.

Scoreline - September 14, 2007
England: 0
Germany: 0

England must be delirious right now - having stopped the German juggernaut, all they have to do is show up against Argentina (who has been passing out points to anyone who will take them) and they're into the next round.

The other half of the group is what is so funny:

Scoreline - September 14, 2007
Argentina: 0
Japan: 1
Nagasato 91'

Yep, Japan miracled their way into a win vs. a crappy team with the help of (yet) another goalkeeper screwup. This means Japan is is on top of the group - and their next opponent is Germany.

Right now, Germany is pretty pissed. Birgit Prinz and company have been shut out, and Japan will be their whipping post. We'll finally get to see what a lousy team like Japan does against quality opposition.

They're going down. Germany only needs to win or tie, but I doubt they'll be able to restrain themselves.

This is real life

This American Life is a helluva show. When they are bad, they are still pretty good. When they are good – they can just blow you away.

I’m a lot more susceptible these days, my stoic reserves went away with dad or with parenthood – I’m not really sure. But even allowing for that, the last episode I listened to had me by the throat and (at a minimum) I need to recommend it to you.

It’s called Unconditional Love, and it describes two families who have perhaps the most challenging parental experiences I can conceive of.

They are presented with the daunting question “Can I just give up?”

One does, one doesn’t. Both stories were (at least for me) major shifts in the way I see things.

Listening to these families talk about what people say to them, It is easy to imagine myself being exactly what they describe: clichéd, condescending, and self-congratulatory. “Aren’t I nice for admiring you?”

It's a jolt to the system, but definately worth a listen.

Once around the park

2002, I saw every match but one. Three days into this cup and I've already dropped four matches. Parenthood - It changes a guy.

But no thanks to ESPN - for some reason, I missed the Sweden match as well as China-Denmark. Brazil's great, but I don't need to see them beat the crap out of New Zealand. I really wanted to see Sweden play.

If the US can't win this time around - I'd want the Swedes to get their revenge on Germany. 2003, the Swedes were hands down the most entertaining team to watch. They had a swarming attack, great team play and the indefatigable Victoria Svensson. Having given her team absolutely everything she had in that tournament, she still only came home with a second-place medal. Damn shame.

Today's match was just checking up on an old friend: Norway.

Scoreline - September 12, 2007
Norway: 2
Gulbrandsen 52'; Stangeland Horpestad 81'
Canada: 1
Chapman 33'

Norway used to pretty much be the anti-Christ as far as I was concerned.

Sweden in '95? Sydney in 2000? That crap set-piece and the POS late winner?
We do not let our hatred die.... oh no. We let it age like fine-

-where was I?

After the US rightfully asserted its utter dominance of Norway in 2003, all was sweetness and light. But with Norway, as with cockroaches - you must kill, kill, kill until they are dead, dead, dead.

Canada did not learn this lesson, and having snatched an early lead on Norge, they proceeded to let up and allow the red-and-blue menace to get back on their tentacles.

Canada's Sinclar looks to be a great asset in the attack. Chapman will get the credit, but Canada's goal was 80% Sinclair. Everyone was too busying watching her shred the defense to notice that Chapman was in the box.

There is some talent in the Canadian squad, but I can't help but notice that their coach is-

Fie! Speak not the name of the evil one!

-that... man who used to coach a certain Scandinavian side in the mid-nineties. His crap long-ball strategy made him famous and (not being content with making his own soccer boring) he decided to export monotony to the world. Canada was eager to ramp up into the top tier, so they figured "Why not turn our free-flowing attack into a boring game of hail Mary?"

Why not, indeed? So they did just that. Well, Canada it got you in the door - but that same door is headed for your ass.

The new Norway has looked longingly across the pond at the ever-expanding silverware of the US women and has decided to do what they do: play soccer. Perhaps one year, their squad will rise to a level worthy of contempt.

In this match they gobbled up yet another minnow - sending their fans and sportscasters into wild ecstasy on how they are back, reborn and all that noise.

Still, they are in a soft group, perhaps they might even-

No! Their soccer is as bland as their meatballs!! Australia will feast on their ponytails!!

-well.. it's a long tournament.

After one game apiece, the groups are:

Women among girls

Scoreline - September 11, 2007
Japan: 2
Miyama 55', 95'
England: 2
Smith 81', 83'

In the battle for who gets to finish behind the Germans in group A, England and Japan managed a tie. Fitting, since each played lousy as a team - and each laid claim to a standout individual performance.

While it would be fair to say Japan is an excellent defensive team - someone needs to remind them that in soccer - offense isn't optional. Japan's strategy seems to be "defend until a goal is gifted to you by God Almighty, then defend." Attacking in force (hell attacking at all) never seems to occur to them. Good passing, fabulous coordination in defense but hey - send a few players into the box once in awhile, eh?

Both goals were scored on free kicks by Aya Miyama- and they were sparkling examples of precision placement. This lady has talent, but she can't substitute for attackers in the box. No way she carries this team forward.

By contrast - England is aware of the need for offense, they just don't do it very well. Eniola Aluko, their inexperienced forward, demonstrated this until even her coach got sick of her and subbed her out. Shooting from impossible angles, not shooting with a clear path to net, missing sitters, and (my pet peeve) giving away possession on something fancy - when she could have simply waited for help. England's defense was hardly challenged by Japan's "hope for a foul" offense, so there's little good news there.

England has one thing that should propel them into the knockout rounds: Kelly Smith
Down 1-0 and in the last 15 minutes of regulation, England benched the neophyte, Aluko. This meant Kelly Smith became the main attacker - and she went flat out. For soccer forwards, as it is for venture capitalists, greed is good. She stopped looking to pass, started demanding the ball and scored two goals in a span of two minutes. Both were individual efforts, bursting through defenders and slamming home quality shots. Like Miyama, she was her team's offensive effort. Unlike Miyama, Smith's kind of offense will win games in the long run.

Killer instinct and lots of ability. England will go as far as Kelly Smith takes them. It's just a damn shame she's 28 - It looks like England will need her to carry the team in the next World Cup as well.

Head wound

Match result below picture. You were warned.Abby Wambach doing her best impression of Brian McBride.

What is it with the US and World Cup head injuries, anyway? Yeesh.

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Scoreline – September 11, 2007
USA: 2
Wambach 50'; O’Reilly 69'
North Korea: 2
Kil 58'; Kim 62'

The North Koreans have yet again arrived from their training base on Mars to show us they can play soccer when they really want to.

This latest crop fields two fifteen-year olds and a number of veterans from the same team that won the U-20 World Cup by thumping China 5 to nothing.

They are bizarre and secretive to be sure, but they are plenty talented and the US was lucky to get out of there with a draw.

Wambach was her usual damn-the-torpedoes self, bashing in a goal using her injured foot and celebrating like a maniac - but her aggressive tactics also netted her the aforementioned head wound. Our coaches’ devotion to having her on the field for the duration cost us six minutes without her while they stitched her up. Playing ten on eleven is never good – and I’m sure I was not alone in wondering how long it takes to slap on an ugly bandage and get back on the field.

Wambach’s absence was a possible factor in the North Koreans banging in two goals, but I would put the blame squarely on Hope Solo for the first goal. She totally had blocked the shot – until she let it go through her hands.

Could happen to anyone, and she’s a solid player- but Foudy was right: at this level, a goalkeeper in wet conditions knows to take extra care to be behind the shot, instead of under it. Solo had the time to be either, and she let in a ball that should have been a routine save.

The second goal was a lot more troubling. Our defense is usually so organized at the back, but prior to Kim’s goal we were positively flailing. Scrambles in the box can be pretty cruel but watching the replay of Shannon Boxx’s abysmal non-clearance made me think I was watching Argentina again. Don’t think, flail – and she did. The ball landing nicely in front of DPK’s Kim, who smashed it past the hopeless Solo.

The real problem was that we didn’t own the midfield like we usually do. I’m not expert enough to know for certain – but it looks like we’ve been expecting our three midfielders to carry the day and they just weren’t. The historically vast gulf between our talent and the world’s talent has made this easy in the past – but North Korea’s four midfielders were more than able to smash through at will.

North Korea was all attack, all the time and there were times the US was simply getting shelled, flailing out a wild clearance, and then losing possession.

Not a disaster by any means, and the US hung in there to tie – but I’m really curious why you would have Lilly up front with the strikers, when (and all props to Lilly) she’s 36 years old. Attackers should be blindingly fast, physically imposing, or (like Abby) both.

Our combinations going into the box were wild and wasted too many times and with Sweden coming up this is no time to start missing crosses.

Sweden and Nigeria have managed to keep the group level, so the next match is pretty much it for us – go high or go home. The DPK will crush Nigeria, so they’re sure to have four points moving into the Sweden match.

The US has snagged the group of death – AGAIN. And the possibility that our team, the team with a holy terror like Abby Wambach, going home in the first round should be unthinkable.

It is, however, still not impossible.

Arrrgh.

Oh the humanity…

One of the more foolish sports traditions has been the quadrennial attempt to read the future of a particular World Cup based on the first match. As the first match goes, so goes the tournament. Sports promoters cross their fingers at kickoff, hoping for a quality match. Each team’s nationalists brace for prophetic signs hidden in the scoreline.

Well, the Women’s World Cup kicked off today with German vs. Argentina. If the first match is any kind of oracle, the tournament will do well, Argentina is about to fall into the sea, and everyone should begin learning to speak German – right Goddamned now.

Scoreline - September 10, 2007
Argentina: 0
Germany: 11
Garefrekes 17'; Behringer 24'; Prinz 29', 46'+, 59'; Lingor 51'; Smisek 57', 70', 79';
Correa 12' OG, 91' OG

Argentina was always going to be the underdog, but DEAR GOD, what an unrelenting rout. It will be pointed out that mismatches like this one can only occur this far into a World Cup because the women’s game is still maturing, but even so – sometimes a rout is great entertainment.

On second thought, rout doesn’t seem to be the right word. This American Life did a marvelous show about what this game actually was: a fiasco.

A fiasco is when things are going so badly that all sympathy has left the audience. Your average 4-nil drubbing in soccer will leave even the winning fans a bit somber. “Hate to be them,” they say. Not so the audience of a fiasco. They have seen losses before, even big losses – but once they realize what they're seeing could go down in history, they'll bay like hyenas.

To paraphrase Jack Hitt – at that point, they want blood.

The commentators were charitable, far too charitable, to the Argies – who began playing a dainty kind of quick passing game and soaked up a good bit of early possession. Germany was still trying to find themselves, like they were saying…”Hmm, who are we?”

This lasted between 6 and 8 minutes. At that point, some switch was tripped in the German team’s collective mind that informed them –

You are a collection of two-meter Teutonic women with killer instincts, gobs of technical skill, and the endurance of a herd of Clydesdales.

“Oh, that’s right!” they say – and proceed to plow over Argentina like they were the 1990 US mens team.

After the first goal, they combined to average one goal every seven minutes.

If you read that scoreline, you’ll note that the first goal wasn’t scored by a German. No, that honor goes to Vanina Correa of Argentina. She's their goalkeeper.

It’s a rare goalkeeper who scores a goal. It’s an even rarer goalkeeper who scores a goal for the opposition –

but Ms. Correa now has the singular honor of being the only goalkeeper to have scored not one, but TWO own goals in a World Cup match.

This was to be one of numerous records set in this game. Highest score, first World Cup match with two hat-tricks on the same team. Prinz tying Michelle Akers' scoring record (not even God can stop Prinz from beating it this tournament).

The after action reports will be all over Correa, but she had plenty of help. Her defenders were worse than useless - they didn’t trust her at all. Defenders who don’t trust their keeper do stupid things – like clearing the ball when they don’t have to (giving away corners that result in own goals), to name one. Sometimes they even poke the ball away from their own diving keeper and plop it in front of one of the best forwards in the game (Shot – Gol!).

Germany's first goal by a German player was scored by Kerstin Garefrekes, who - were I writing this script - would be scoring all of Germany's goals. Garefrekes! What a great Goddamned name! C'mon, say it with me!

Garefrekes! Garefrekes! Garefrekes!

The Argie defense was never on the same page, and worse – they were comically inattentive. Prinz’s second goal was her walking into a gaping hole and rocketing the ball into the net like “ya se me now?”

Whatever attack the Argies might have offered was completely gutted after they went down 4-nil in less than thirty minutes. Any defensive work in the midfield followed the painful pattern of; Argie gets ball, German tackles Argie, German takes ball, six Germans storm the Argie net.

Take nothing away from the Germans – they rocked the house, Foudy was saying she didn’t see them miss the net once - and I believe her. Cross, header, goal. Cross, shot, goal. Over and over.

Prinz was supposed to break Akers' record in the knockout rounds, she almost did it in one game. If she were a little less of a team player, she would have.

An 11 goal differential on day one??? Print the tee-shirts now. Germany Advances Out of Group Play.

God, but I love the World Cup.

Garefrekes!

The Empire of Corn

I’m pretty late to the party on this one, but I’ve finally started reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan.

My initial reaction can be summed up as:

Quietly, inexorably, corn is trying to kill you.

Seriously.

Mr. Pollan points out that modern agribusiness in America has labored mightily to increase crop yields of corn, and they’ve succeeded beyond our ancestor’s wildest imaginings. The result is a massive glut of corn that exceeds what people and livestock could normally eat.

The solution? Agribusiness proposes that people and livestock begin to eat abnormally.

What is surprising to me is how totally they have succeeded.

As was pointed out to me by my brother in law not too long ago: “Go ahead, try and avoid consuming a corn based product. It’s practically impossible in this country.”

The really jarring observation in the book (so far, I’m barely halfway through it) is the way Mr. Pollan turns the notion of the “French Paradox” upside down.

As in, “the French eat fatty food all the time, why are their rates for obesity and heart disease not on par with ours?”

Pollan points out that plenty of other countries illustrate this same characteristic, and pointedly says: “What is happening is more of an American paradox.”

Something is wrong with the way food is made in America. The idea that beef cattle are made to eat an unnatural diet of corn isn’t all that alarming – until you realize what this diet is doing to them, and that we are eating meat from these animals. BSE never made me very nervous, but Mr. Pollan definitely got my attention.

There is more of the book to go, and there is still room for Mr. Pollan to turn out to be another well-intended alarmist who is missing key facts, but I’m serious – if you haven’t read this book – go to a bookstore and read the first few chapters or download the free sample (PDF) and skip to the section on Industrial Corn.

You’ll freak. It’s The Jungle for our times.

Fly the geek flag high!

The following is a geek test (specifically a board game geek test):

Fantasy Flight Games will publish Cosmic Encounter® in the Summer of 2008.

Scoring:

1 point for - "Who's doing what?"
2 points for - "Is that a book?"
3 points for - "New game?"
5 points for - "It's been done."
10 points for - "Whoo hoo! Hot damn-a-licous!"

Well.....?


(Whoo Hoo!)

What she said...

Madeleine Albright hits one out of the park:

How To Change Iraq

The threshold question in any war is: What are we fighting for? Our troops, especially, deserve a convincing answer.

In Iraq, the list of missions that were tried on but didn't fit includes: protection from weapons of mass destruction, creating a model democracy in the Arab world, punishing those responsible for the Sept. 11 attacks and stopping terrorists from catching the next plane to New York. The latest mission, linked to the "surge" of troops this year, was to give Iraqi leaders the security and maneuvering room needed to make stabilizing political arrangements -- which they have thus far shown little interest in doing.

A cynic might suggest that the military's real mission is to enable President Bush to continue denying that his invasion has evolved into disaster. A less jaded view might identify three goals: to prevent Iraq from becoming a haven for al-Qaeda, a client state of Iran or a spark that inflames regionwide war. These goals respond not to dangers that prompted the invasion but to those that resulted from it.

She's exactly right - and she's put it so well.

I've been saying for years that a single rationale for something can stand or fall on its merits, but a series of different rationales can only demonstrate that the real reason hasn't yet shown its face.

It's high time the administration fess up and ask for assistance in getting this country out of their mess. It's a weak person who values appearing right over actually doing right.

Okay, so I'm obsolete again...

I realize it's silly to chase the bleeding edge of technology, but having gotten an iPod only last year - it's a bit of a jolt to realize that it is now an antique.

Witness the iPod touch.

After the iPhone, you knew this was coming.

The answer to [hate] speech is speech...

...and in case you needed proof, this is it:

From asheville.indymedia.org by way of digby:

Clowns KKKick KKK ass!

Saturday May 26th the VNN Vanguard Nazi/KKK group attempted to host a hate rally to try to take advantage of the brutal murder of a white couple for media and recruitment purposes. http://www.volunteertv.com/special

Unfortunately for them the 100th ARA (Anti Racist Action) clown block came and handed them their asses by making them appear like the asses they were.
...
“White Power!” the Nazi’s shouted, “White Flour?” the clowns yelled back running in circles throwing flour in the air and raising separate letters which spelt “White Flour”.

“White Power!” the Nazi’s angrily shouted once more, “White flowers?” the clowns cheers and threw white flowers in the air and danced about merrily.

“White Power!” the Nazi’s tried once again in a doomed and somewhat funny attempt to clarify their message, “ohhhhhh!” the clowns yelled “Tight Shower!” and held a solar shower in the air and all tried to crowd under to get clean as per the Klan’s directions.

At this point several of the Nazi’s and Klan members began clutching their hearts as if they were about to have a heart attack. Their beady eyes bulged, and the veins in their tiny narrow foreheads beat in rage. One last time they screamed “White Power!”

The clown women thought they finally understood what the Klan was trying to say. “Ohhhhh…” the women clowns said. “Now we understand…”, “WIFE POWER!” they lifted the letters up in the air, grabbed the nearest male clowns and lifted them in their arms and ran about merrily chanting “WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER!”
...
After the [Nazi's] left in their shiny SUVs to go back to Alabama and all the other states that they were from the clowns and counter demonstrators began to march out of the area chanting ‘WHOSE STREETS? OUR STREETS!”

They have a picture, too - kinda makes ya feel all warm and fuzzy inside.