The other night, amid a flurry of hammering that woke up my little girl – I was at last fully networked in my house.
*Who cares?*
Yeah, yeah, okay. It's a pretty small thing. But small things have a way of turning into flowing cascades of increasing complexity. This should have been a small thing – but it wasn't.
And now its done.
*Except for the 2nd floor-*
Shut up, you! Just shut your subconscious little mouth!! Do you have any idea how long it's taken to…
Ahem.
Okay, perhaps you missed part I and part II of this saga. If you shorthand doing battle with AT&T, the narrative can be shortened to:
- I move to a new house.
- I transfer phone and internet to the new address.
- My house has no phone jacks, thus I enlist the aid of NG & MG to run wires to hook up my PC and DVR.
- After fruitlessly testing the new wires, I discover AT&T has not set up my internet.
- I spend hours on the phone in exchange for two separate promises of when my service will be set up.
- Both of these promises are broken.
On the date of the second promise – I had no ETA during the day, so I checked all day and into the night before calling AT&T to scream at them.
After being put on hold and passed around – I was referred to an account specialist.
In contrast to everything I'd experienced with AT&T so far, this person was courteous, and sympathetic. They apologize for what has happened, and – I remember this specifically – tell me they don't blame me at all if I wanted to cancel my order.
They advised me to let them continue to process the order, that it should be done by 3/14, and that I should shop around for other providers. If I changed my mind, I could easily cancel the in progress order at no cost. If I ultimately chose to stay, my order would have continued in the meantime - and (the kicker) they'd give me two months of free internet service for the inconvenience.
The account specialist promised to call me before March 14th to either verify my order or cancel it.
Huzzah! Empathy! Apology! Free stuff!
Full of satisfaction for having wrested some concessions from AT&T. I vowed to price all options and make them earn my loyalty.
When the account specialist called me back, I was going to have all of the competitors rates in front of me. I would be ruthless.
[The discerning reader will have guessed the next part of the story: I would never hear from the account specialist again.]
Unaware of this fact (and frankly, determined to get a better deal just for spite) I hunt down internet prices for all ISPs in my area.
As anyone who's priced internet knows – this is not easy.
Bundling, initial teaser rates and connection speeds throw all manner of obstacles in front of consumers who simply want to compare apples to apples.
My personal favorite: My cable company was willing to offer me an introductory rate that bumped up after six months and resulted in a higher yearly bill than the regular rate.
Nice.
Since no communications company will spit in your direction without locking you into a contract – I ended up having to compare the average yearly rate over two years for internet alone, internet with cable, and internet with phone and cable.
The maddening result: For the connection speed I wanted, AT&T was the cheapest.
Since I was getting two months free – I figured there wasn't much sense in paying more for spite. When AT&T's account specialist called me back [HAH!] I'd tell them I'd take the deal.
Now, those of you with freakish memories will recall that checking your order status on AT&T's website requires an online registration number – which you can only get via phone or snail mail.
I'd told them to call my house with the number, and they had. In classic AT&T fashion: A computer calls my house and rattles off a nine digit number – once – and then hangs up.
If I'd actually been at home when the call came, there's a good chance I'd have missed a digit trying to get a pen. Since they didn't repeat it, I'd have been stuck repeating this workflow:
1) leave house againSee how easy that is! ARRrrrrrgh!
2) access the internet,
3) go to AT&T's webform
4) Request an online registration number
5) Go home (to receive number via phone)
6) Retrieve number from answering machine
7) Leave home (to get internet access)
8) access the internet,
9) go to AT&T's webform
10) Use online registration code
11) Check order status.
Needless to say, I didn't do this with any speed. Over the course of three days, I managed to write down the number, remember to bring it to work, and remember to visit AT&Ts website.
The first time I got in – I wasn't even planning on checking my order status. I wanted to check on my bill. It was the 12th and my order wasn't supposed to go through until the 14th.
I saw my bill was late – but hell if I was going to pay before I got service. On a whim, I saw check order status and clicked on it.
It said:
Residential/Internet:I'm like:
Scheduled: 2/27/2008
Completed: 3/10/2008
!!!!
So I call E and ask her to check the computer. We're online!
What the freaking…???
I've had internet for days and AT&T didn't so much as send me an email!
Those b@stards!!!
Still...I have internet.
E can check email – I can back in touch with folks.
Then I go home and fire up the browser. And it's so slow, google takes ages to load.
I call AT&T tech support and download speed checks confirm that there's something really wrong with my connection.
I'm connected – but I can't use it.
ARRRRRRRGGGH!!
Days later - AT&T agrees to send a tech, at the last minute we change the day, since E's home with sick kids we figure we might as well have their tech show up when we won't have to take additional time off.
The tech shows up, has to install a whole house filter, reset our modem password and (in a delicious bit of irony) has to sit on hold with AT&T in order to do it.
It works! Huzzah!
The next day, I end up being home anyway and I watch another AT&T truck show up at our house (presumably, this was our originally scheduled appointment). I tell the person that we have internet now, than you.
They say something like, "I need to check Roger's work. I'll just take a look at the box out back."
I didn't have the heart to tell them we have no phone box – in the back, or anywhere else.
Done?
No.
Yes, I have internet, but there's still one thing in AT&T's hands that they can screw up: my two free months of service.
Being AT&T - they do.
I start getting hassled about my bill. Being me, I refuse to pay until I see a bill that reflects what I should pay. Being AT&T they tell me my credit won't appear for 1 to 2 months.
I ask you: why the hell would that be? We live in a world of instant communication. The thought that a message like "Credit account X with $50.00" would take two months to show up on my bill is just too stupid to contemplate.
I call AT&T to explain my point of view to them and they assure me that the credit will come – its in the system and that should show up on my May bill. They understand that I want to pay an accurate bill, so they quote me a single month and ask for that amount. I'm like, Okay. One month is no big deal – I don't really want to pile up three months of bills before sorting this out. Hell, knowing AT&T they'd probably disconnect me and I'd have to start over.
I'll pay a month – wait a month – and by then my credit will show up and we'll be square.
I pay a month's bill online.
The next day, I get a disconnect notice from AT&T.
Furious, I call them and am assured that I will not be disconnected. Ignore the incredibly threatening notice we sent you about collection and your credit history, no this was all a misunderstanding.
Fine.
May comes – and with it my AT&T bill. Happy to put this all behind me, I open it up to find…a month and a half of credit applied to my bill. Plus late fees.
Now, at this point my narrative has to go off the track a bit. I went to AT&T's website and scoured the site for any line of contact that I hadn't used before. I ended up finding a webform that I can no longer locate (or I'd post it here).
I sent the following on May 15th:
To: ATT_1ME@att.comExpecting nothing, I get it:
Customer Name: [withheld]
Email Address: [withheld]
Email Tracking Number: 8121[withheld]
Question/Comment:
Credit for late installation not appearing on my bill
Additional Information:
Re: Account Number [withheld]
I'd placed an order for phone and internet on 2/25 and was told it would be installed on 2/27.
It was not.
I was then told it would be installed on 3/7.
It was not.
So, I called your advanced DSL Customer Support number 866-583-2494 on 3/7 to find out what was going on. Over the course of a 53 minute phone call - I was told that it would be installed on 3/14 and that because things went so wrong I would receive two months of DSL for free.
Looking at my bill - it doesn't look like this has happened, either.
I am now getting late charges for billed amounts that are in error.
What needs to happen now to get this situation resolved?
an email advising me of the impending credit within 1-2 billing cycles.
So I reply to the email and snark at them.
The next day, at lunch – I get a phone call from a nice rep called Mamie.
I explain that from my perspective AT&T owes me two weeks of free internet. They promised me two months, and they gave me six weeks.
Mamie was not impressed. "You transferred your service on 2/27, so the billing for your new internet began as of that date."
I'm laughing too hard to scream at her.
You didn't transfer my service on 2/27!
Mamie can't find this in her script. "On a good day it would have been-"
I'm outside, in a parking lot, surrounded by people. Despite this, I scream into the phone:
IT WASN'T A GOOD DAY! My service wasn't transferred! You promised me two months worth of internet and then you have the nerve to bill me for two weeks of service you never provided!
With this, Mamie gives up the ship. If I pay my second months bill, she'll apply a credit for the remaining two weeks while I'm on the phone.
I pay, she credits my account for the missing weeks and my struggle with AT&T ends.
She even sends me an email on May 30:
Good Afternoon [murph],Scoreline:
Per our conversation today, I am responding to your email regarding an adjustment. My name is Mamie, and I will be happy to assist you with your request. I regret any frustration you have encountered because of the billing error.
After reviewing your account, a credit in the amount of $13.75 has been given for AT&T High Speed Internet . This credit should appear on your statement within 1-2 bill cycles.
My User Id is MM69[withheld]
[murph], if I can be of any further assistance, please reply directly to this email.
Thank you for using AT&T. We appreciate your business and continued loyalty.
Regards,
Mamie
Your AT&T Customer Service Representative
Me: Four hours on the phone, internet two weeks late, and billing unsnarled after three and a half months.
AT&T: Two on site visits, -$50.00, and one more sucker, contractually obligated for two years.
Next up - wiring, the final insult.
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