Years ago, a boss of mine was retiring and I had the crazy idea of writing a toast to them and reciting it at their going away party. Against all odds, I actually did it. Remembered my lines and everything.
It's still one of my favorite memories of that job. Because - for once - I thought of doing something nice for someone (someone who deserved it) and actually followed through.
The number of times you come up with a great idea and let it die is just too depressing to think about. "I would have..." or "That would have been great..."
Putting a smile on my boss' face was priceless. They're a great person and somebody ought to have done something. That it was me was irrelevant - my boss got to witness the grinning affection of their peers. Not the tired, pre-packaged "g'bye party" but a moment of genuine admiration for who they were and what they'd meant to us.
And that was awesome.
In my own experience, events like that are pretty uncommon. I don't know my neighbors, I see my friends less and less these days - and then there's work.
Most workplaces, you don't say much about the people you work with. Most times, that's a good thing - but I grew up moving around a lot. I've did my time with social turnover and I've decided I enjoy a static environment.
As I've pointed out in previous posts, CorpWorld has been anything but static. Every partner I've had on a project has already left, or is done as of tomorrow.
The one who left of their own accord was the last goodbye party we've had. That was over a year ago. Everyone else simply had a last day and didn't come back.
The big dividing line is whether or not they got to pack their stuff, or whether or not someone did it for them.
Needless to say - this is not a very human process. This latest round of bloodletting has a third of my department leaving as of tomorrow.
Basic humanity would suggest that some kind of commemoration is in order.
In CorpWorld such things are distilled down to the lowest common denominators: Food + speech by boss. There is no enthusiasm, as this is essentially a professional funeral. Most people in my department are isolated by their projects, so it is hard to build up any kind of comaraderie.
About the only thing we know about each other is that we like working together.
That, and - getting laid off because Fitch downgraded us again really, really sucks.
It takes a lot to snap you out of the funk of "What can I do?" and "What would I want in their place?" I'd been passed a stack of goodbye cards and asked to sign them and pass them on.
What do you write to a person who has been laid off? What tack do you take?
Cheery? "Good luck...." (i.e. I'm pretending that you'll find another job soon)
Sad? "So sorry to see you
Professional? "It was a pleasure working with you..." (i.e. I have no idea who you are)
So you wrack your brains and settle on something that doesn't sound too stupid. There. You sign your name.
Now there's seven more of them to sign. What do you put in those?
Same thing? Weak. After a half an hour, you decide that the people will not compare notes, so some duplication is okay. Then you're writing crap like "It was great working with you."
You do your partner's card, and your other partner's card with self-consciously generic garbage. And then you get to the last one.
The guy with three kids and the wife who just got diagnosed with cancer.
And you do the same thing.
"It was great..."
Thankfully, somebody else's humanity reared up at this and (as pathetic as it sounds) a collection was put together for this man. He moved up here for this job. He's done tomorrow and has no interviews scheduled.
This I can do. It is inadequate, the few people who opt in pool some cash in an envelope and leave it on his chair. Anonymous.
There is no way we can have any lasting impact on his finances. What we could scrape together would barely pay for a meal or two.
But that's not the point.
At a minimum - he will know somebody gave a damn.
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