Not the country, just everyone and everything associated with playing their soccer team. I'll grant that their national team has talent, but a World Cup qualifier in Guatemala is just a different beast entirely.
I'll start with the sidelines. Any time you have fences with barbed wire - you know the home crowd is not the welcoming type.
This is the country where the fans injured Alexi Lalas by throwing batteries at his head.
Next, the refs. I'm sure I'm biased, but I've noticed a certain willingness of CONCACAF refs to indulge Latin America's desire to avenge themselves on the Yanquis. Not to pick on Alexi, but in another qualifying match, I watched a Guatemalan player walk up to Lalas and flat out punch him in the testicles.
No card, not even a foul.
Lastly the Guatemalan national team players. When Alexi did get punched in the nads, he was surrounded by Guatemalan players. They were trying to block the ref's view. Soccer has some pretty draconian rules for deliberately injuring a player - yet somehow Guatemalan players view every match against the US as open season.
The fact that more of their players aren't ejected leads me to believe that CONCACAFs refs feel the same way.
Historically, the US has never won in Guatemala. At least on goals. Winning in Guatemala is getting out alive - and with the fewest number of injuries possible. There's no question the US team tries to prep for the environment - rather like civil rights protestors:
They are trying to provoke you. Don't let them.Meet a guy who didn't take that advice: Steve Cherundolo
Yeah, he looks like a dork - but don't worry: he'll be ejected in the 60th minute.
Cherundulo picked up his first yellow by spiking a dead ball in anger. This is tantamount to asking "Ref? Would you please card me?"
What ref could resist that? So Cherundolo gets booked for a stupid foul. The ref then went on a tear of bad non-calls (Eddie Lewis getting shoved over the corner flag and into the barricade. No foul.) and BS yellow cards for Dempsey and Mastroeni.
Mastroeni's was for a garden variety foul, but Dempsey's was a work of art.
Guatamala's Ramirez gets dispossessed by Dempsey and after the play slaps him upside the head. Dempsey flips his arms out like "back off, pal" and Ramirez goes down like he's been stabbed.
Ramirez grabs his head, goes fetal and writhes on the ground. It was comical right up until the ref walked over and carded Dempsey and Ramirez.
The US didn't get all the bad calls. Guatemala had two golden opportunities taken away by bogus offsides and a foul that was a clear advantage call. The common thread though was - the ref was missing stuff - and the Guatemalans were trying to get away with anything they could.
Getting whacked on without the ref bothering to care can wear on you - and Cherundulo reached his limit after an hour. After battling for posession with Freddy Garcia and getting shoved to the ground - Cherundulo opted to get some payback. He grabbed for Garcia's feet just as the Guatemalan turned to break - tripping him.
Deliberate attempt to trip - with his hands - right in front of the ref. Second yellow. Red card. Gone.
This is exactly where you don't want to be: A man down, on the road, in Guatemala. They've been controlling the match, getting the better chances and now they have a man advantage.
The crowd is going insane.They feel it - the momentum is on their side.
They want blood.
Three minutes later, they get it. Eddie Lewis who has been getting abused for over an hour, leaps into the air to get a head on a deep goal kick.
He doesn't see Gustavo Cabrerra flying towards him. There is a sickening impact and Lewis' body whips around and crumples into a heap. He's got blood all over his forehead and looks dazed.
Cabrerra is down too, and the early replay makes it look like this is another of those head-meets-head collisions that happen all too often on high balls.
The stretcher goes in for Lewis and you can see them sponging him off to find where the cut is. It's over his eye - but it looks like Lewis is just out of it.
Then they show the second replay. Cabrerra airborne - the two players pinwheeling after their heads collide. The impact causes commentator John Harkes to exclaim "Oh my God."
-and then they show the third replay - the one that shows Cabrerra leaving the ground, headed towards Lewis-
-and he's leading with his elbow.
Yeah. Cabrerra saw an opportunity to collide with an American and tried to maximize the injury. After the hit he's rolling around in the hopes that he masked the hit well enough to get away with it.
I'm tempted to say that stuff like this is the reason I F-ing hate Guatemala - but this isn't even the worst of it. That came later.
To his credit the Surinam ref saw what happend and gives Cabrerra the very least he deserves - a straight red.
Cabrerra out. The teams are level at ten men- but Lewis is leaving the field on a stretcher.
What came next is why I F-ing hate Guatemala:
They're treating Eddie Lewis on the sidelines for a head injury. A bad one. One the whole goddamned crowd saw. He's holding a bandage to his head and the trainers are checking him for signs of a concussion -
-and he has to be flanked by security personnel with riot shields so he isn't hit by something thrown out of the stands.
No shit. Two guys with riot shields have to cover Lewis the whole time he's being treated. When the decision to sub him out finally happens, security escorts him all the way to the tunnel - so the crowd can't injure him more.
That's why.
----
At this point - we have Cherundulo out for two yellows. Lewis out for a head injury.
And the game goes on.
Bradley's decision to swap in Beasley and Hejduk in place of Dempsey and Lewis turns out to be brilliant. Their speed and aggression start to win back control of the midfield.
And then fortune smiles ever so briefly. A foul in the Guatemalan end results in a corner - and Beasley curls a floating kick to a shockingly unmarked Bocanegra.
Header. Goal.
Suck it, Guatemala.
It's the Yanqui's turn to strut - and they do. The crowd is seething, and the Americans are lapping it up. There's even a small contingent of American fans who (in defiance of all common sense) have busted out the Stars and Stripes and are screaming their fool heads off.
Guatemala is pissed and it shows. More aggression, better attacking, they want to stay undefeated at home. The US is starting to cede the field to them. They pack the defense and try to weather the assault.
And it just keeps going on... shot after shot. Miss, save, lucky foul. The US is barely holding on.
Mastroeni gets subbed out after a crushing tackle.
Late in the 83'rd, Guatemalan striker Carlos Ruiz gets a break on goal, but Tim Howard grabs the ball.
Naturally, Ruiz kicks Howard in the head. Howard drops the ball and the Guatemalans kick it into the net.
-But the foul was called and there is no goal. The Guatemalans are incensed - How dare you??!!
Meanwhile, Howard is down, shaking off the hit. When he does get up Gonzales Romero starts talking smack. Howard leaps to his feet points right at Romero and starts venting in earnest.
Naturally, he gets carded. Ruiz and Romero get nothing and they fall back to receive the goal kick.
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The last eleven minutes (yes, four minutes of excruciating injury time) are just a shooting gallery. Howard's scrambling - defenders flying everywhere. Somewhere in all the chaos - the whistle blows.
In defiance of history, brutality and waves of human hate - The US has gotten out of Guatemala with three points.
Scoreline - August 21, 2008
Guatemala: 0
USA: 1
Bocanegra 69'
Thank god we're not coming back for four years.
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