You start with the things that break down easily into months (mortgage, utilities, burritos...) and gradually work towards the squishier aspects of the budget (groceries, gasoline, car repair).
But it's not rocket science. I'm banging through the utility portion when I get to my cell bill.
I have AT&T.
In the normal run of things - I'd look at my last bill and take the monthly amount and punch it in. I don't have a paper bill anymore, so the next step is the website.
In the ideal world, this is a three step process.
- Go to vendor's website
- Log in
- View last bill
The AT&T universe has many fault lines and so has multiple log ins. I've had as many as 5. AT&T is trying to simplify things, but it's clear they're not there yet.
Welcome to AT&T, please select an arbitrary partition.
AT&T offered me the option to combine my phone/internet and wireless bills last year. About the third time I tried, they let me. This process took two months. Apparently, billing happens in cycles - and nothing is immediate.
Whatever. I'll log in, view the wireless portion of my bill and be done.
Except the wireless bill is $104.14.
This is not right. That has never been my monthly rate. I go into the detail on the bill and (over the course of scanning a seven page document) discover that my current wireless bill is a combination of the prior billing period and the current one.
This takes some doing.
By asking to combine my bills, I have created a break between the old way of doing things and the new way.
AT&T's process deals with that by rolling a pro-rated bill for December (as of when I decided to combine bills) and my January bill.
If a normal company wanted to show you your bill, they might do it like this:
December (pro-rated) - $47.03 [Show detail]
January $57.11 [Show detail]
But this is AT&T, I get $104.14 as a single, linked line item.
Clicking on that, I get:
Combined Billing took effect on Dec 19, 2008.
To align the Wireless Billing Cycle more closely
With other Combined services, the next Wireless
Billing Cycle Will begin on Dec 29, 2008.
Wireless Summary - [ACCOUNT #]
Cycle Dates: Nov 29, 2008 - Dec 28, 2008
Promotions and Discounts $3.20CR
Monthly Service $39.99
Credits, Adjustments and Other Charges $3.97
Data Usage $6.27
Total Wireless Charges $47.03
Mobile Charges Summary
[Phone # 1] Group: 1
[USER 1]
Promotions and Discounts $0.53CR
Monthly Service $6.66
Credits, Adjustments and Other Charges $0.78
Data Usage $0.80
Charges for this mobile $7.71
[Phone # 2] Group: 1
[USER 2]
Promotions and Discounts $2.67CR
Monthly Service $33.33
Credits, Adjustments and Other Charges $3.19
Data Usage $5.47
Charges for this mobile $39.32
Group Usage Summary - Group: 1
Voice
Rollover Summary
Previous Balance 3,433
Unused Minutes Added 411
Minutes Expired (*) -304
Current Rollover Balance 3,540
(*) Unused Plan Minutes Expired
After 12 Billing Periods
[MYSTERIOUS NUMBER]
211 Minutes Used by [Phone # 1]
118 Minutes Used by [Phone # 2]
329 Minutes Used by This Group
550 Minutes Included
[Phone # 1] - [USER 1]
Promotions and Discounts
National Account Discount .53 CR
Total Promotions and Discounts .53 CR
Monthly Service
New Bill Cycle 12/29-01/18
[MYSTERIOUS NUMBER] 6.66
Proration Calculation
Monthly Service Charge $9.99
Divided by Avg days in Month / 30
Times Days On New Cycle X 20
Equals New Cycle Prorated Charge = $6.66
Part of this month was spent on the New Bill Cycle
Charges apply for those days.
Dollars are rounded to the next whole cent.
Total Monthly Service 6.66
Credits, Adjustments and Other Charges
Regulatory Cost Recovery Charge .20
County Sales Surcharge .03
Federal Universal Service Charge .19
[State] State Sales Surcharge .36
Total Credits, Adjustments and Other Charges .78
Voice Usage Summary
Unlimited Expd M2M
23 Minutes Used
Rollover FM 550
89 Minutes Used
Unlimited N&W
99 Minutes Used
Total Voice Usage Summary .00
Data Usage Summary
Text Msg Pay Per Use
4 Text Messages Used
4 Billed at $0.20/Msg .80
Total Text Msg Pay Per Use .80
Total Data Usage Summary .80
Total for [Phone # 1] 7.71
[Phone # 2] - [USER 2]
Promotions and Discounts
National Account Discount 2.67 CR
Total Promotions and Discounts 2.67 CR
Monthly Service
New Bill Cycle 12/29-01/18
[MYSTERIOUS NUMBER] 33.33
Proration Calculation
Monthly Service Charge $50.00
Divided by Avg days in Month / 30
Times Days On New Cycle X 20
Equals New Cycle Prorated Charge = $33.33
Part of this month was spent on the New Bill Cycle
Charges apply for those days.
Dollars are rounded to the next whole cent.
Total Monthly Service 33.33
Credits, Adjustments and Other Charges
Regulatory Cost Recovery Charge .20
County Sales Surcharge .19
Federal Universal Service Charge .94
[State] State Sales Surcharge 1.86
Total Credits, Adjustments and Other Charges 3.19
Voice Usage Summary
Unlimited Expd M2M
36 Minutes Used
Rollover FM 550
50 Minutes Used
Unlimited N&W
32 Minutes Used
Total Voice Usage Summary .00
Data Usage Summary
Text Msg Pay Per Use
26 Text Messages Used
26 Billed at $0.20/Msg 5.20
Total Text Msg Pay Per Use 5.20
InternetPayPerUse
27 Kilobytes Used
27 Billed at $0.01/KB .27
Total InternetPayPerUse .27
Total Data Usage Summary 5.47
Total for [Phone # 2] 39.32
Total Invoice Charges 47.03
Wireless Summary - [ACCOUNT #]
[Mis-aligned dollar values are in the orignal]
I asked for a sip of water, AT&T passes me a fire hose.
Okay - I've actually made that a LOT clearer than the document AT&T shows you.
The actual document starts with a legalese preamble, and I've only shown you the detail for the prorated December blob. There's an even longer blob for January.
It takes an interminable amount of scanning to recognize this, because each giant data blob is separated by a single line of dates.
Giant blob #1 is a partial bill, so I skip to giant blob #2.
GB# 2 starts with this mis-aligned summary:
Promotions and Discounts $10.80CR
Monthly Service $59.99
Credits, Adjustments and Other Charges $4.72
Data Usage $3.20
Total Wireless Charges $57.11 Okay. I'll read that as my monthly bill is $59.99 and I'm getting some discount. I know there's a discount for combining bills, so I'm wondering if that discount is it. In the detail that follows the discount is helpfully referred to as "Promotions and Discounts."
As long as I'm budgeting, I want to know if this is a recurring discount that I can count on ($10.80 per month is a big enough deal) or if this is yet another of AT&T's byzantine account modifications. I do a CTRL-F to find 10.80 elsewhere in the giant blob and strike out.
No more detail.
I log into my AT&T Wireless account to see what my bills have been in the past. The wireless site shows amounts that vary between $47 and $153. Clicking on detail, I see more giant blobs of gobbledygook.
Deep breath.
I opt to call.
I know - this is stupid - but again, I have this expectation that this will be simple.
- Call
- Identify self & authenticate
- Ask for monthly bill, receive same.
- Hang up
I click on the contact us link and (miracle of miracles) I am directed to a single phone number in less than five clicks. Progress!
I dial.
Your expected hold time is four minutes.
Okay, this sucks - but it's my lunch hour, I've got some time - and I can work as I wait.
Six minutes later, I get a rep.
I self-identify, prove it, and ask for my monthly bill amount.
The rep gives it to me.
(There, you see? this was easy!)
I then ask about the discount.
Is that a discount I'm getting for moving my bill?
No, that's a corporate discount.
Oh. I get a discount because I work for a large company.
Great, so that is a recurring discount?
Well, sir. When you transfer your account, that discount may be replaced by the combined bill discount.
Uh?
You can only have one discount.
-Right about now - I'm getting that familiar sinking feeling. So... THIS is how this call will go horribly wrong.
How much is the combined discount?
I don't have that information. You'll have to contact Land Line.
Can't you?
Please hold.
Time passes...
Sir? Can you give me your Land Line number?
Okay - two things: 1) they should know this. I gave them my SSN, for crying out loud. 2) If you needed it, couldn't you have asked for it BEFORE I had to sit on hold?
I give the rep my number, and they apologize profusely.
So profusely, it turns out, that they are dropped from Land Line's hold queue. They have to call Land Line again and wait.
Again.
Time passes...
Sir?
Yes?
Land Line could not find a combined discount on your account.
What does that mean?
It means they cannot find a discount on your combined account. It might show up on the next billing cycle...
You mean I've lost my corporate discount?
I don't think so, sir. I think you should keep that one.
I'll get to keep my discount, going forward?
I'm pretty sure.
At this point - it's clear that the rep is just telling me what she hopes is true.
I hope she's right, but I'm out of lunch time - so there's no time to iron this out. I'll need to watch for the next bill to make sure.
I hang up.
Elapsed time?
27 minutes and 28 seconds.
(plus about 10 minutes with the website)
Net result: I know what my plan costs (but I knew that) but I have no idea if AT&T will carry forward my current $10.80 discount.
And I lost 37 minutes of my life.
3 comments:
And how much time of your life did you lose blogginmg this?
Oh I don't know.
There's a difference between time you choose to lose to create something (like a blog post) and time you are made to lose due to corporate indifference and incompetence.
He might of lost sometime blogging, but saved many who read it after. I wish i read this before moving from T-Mobile to AT&T. I hated T-Mobile before but now I wish i can go back.
Post a Comment