Eighteen Digit Number

There's an obvious irony in this - but all I can see right now is suckage.

Like the rest of the country - I seized upon the falling mortgage rates to refinance. I missed a historically low interest rate by a day - thank you very much - but I got a rate that should make a difference in our finances.

The refi guy at the bank was email only - so buried under applications that they only processed them via the web, and promised to call you within two weeks. I was happy to snag the low rate, so I did what they said.

So it's the day of the closing and I'm looking at the paperwork and I see a name that gives me the creeps.

MERS.

Yes, that MERS. The one who holds more than 60 million of the country's mortgages, yet ignores state laws on the registration and foreclosing of mortgages. The company that breaks chain of title and damages the property rights of adjacent property holders.

Those guys.

I asked the title insurance employee (who was the only one there) if MERS had any role on our loan. They were like "No, no - they're just there to save you money on filing the paperwork."

And they do this in what capacity, relative to my loan?

The title insurance employee gave an answer that established that they had no idea what role MERS played on our loan - but that they were "certain" that everything was fine.

Now, you're the consumer with a bad feeling about this - but you know that the MERS voodoo causes problems when other problems emerge. If I pay my loan, MERS, role does not matter. But then you wonder what happens when my loan gets sold and re-sold? Will I know where to send my payments? Will the servicer stay the same?

And because the alternative is to scrap your re-fi - the one with the sweet rate - you sign. Because, scrapping the deal means you lose a good chunk of your closing costs - and you honestly don't know if your chosen lender has any options that don't include MERS.

So... y'know. F$&#!

But in the back of your head, you're thinking. MERS is seriously in the news lately. Losing cases left and right. Telling its members to list MERS in an alternate role.

Maybe it won't be like that - and again - I pay my bill, things will be fine, right? 

Enter the Loan Servicer - a company called PHH. PHH?

Never heard of them.

Googling, I find:

David beats Goliath: Homeowner wins $21MILLION payout from mortgage firm in dispute over credit rating 

In which an Army NCO paid PHH by direct deposit every month - until PHH decided to ignore the fact they had his money and notified the credit agencies that he was a deadbeat.

This is the kind of thing that gets me all worked up. Not that my loan will go this route, but my state has two lawsuits this year against PHH where PHH botched the paperwork and asked the courts to let them take people's homes anyway.

I call PHH to make sure they have my first payment and they've never heard of me. Even though their name is on the paperwork, even though I give them my loan number and SSN - they have no idea who I am. Mind you, this is over a month after our loan closed.

Anybody ever had an argument with a bank where you were trying to convince them that you owed them money? Pretty freaking surreal.

PHH insist I call my previous lender, because they have no record of me.

My prior lender agrees that the paperwork is backed up, but that I should send my first payment and PHH will "hold onto it" until the loan gets set up in their system. Because, hey, what could go wrong, right?

Then I go poking around and find a search engine for MERS properties. And yes, my property is listed in it.

There's a note date, a listing of my prior lender and an long string of digits that make up my MIN: My  MERS Identification Number.

I have been assimilated.

My local customer-friendly bank has sold me to the corporate wolves.

Great.

Just great.

Father of the Year

(via The Two-Way)

"Zach Tomaselli, 23, of Lewiston, Maine, said Sunday that he told police that [Syracuse University assistant basketball coach Bernie] Fine molested him in 2002 in a Pittsburgh hotel room. The third accuser to come forward, Tomaselli said Fine touched him "multiple" times in that one incident." Tomaselli's father, however, told the AP he is certain his son never had any contact with Fine.

As in, "Gee, dad. Why don't you shut the hell up and let your grown son speak his mind, huh?"

Do You Feel Lucky?

So, it's open enrollment and (as tradition dictates) I'm in the final hours of the window reading the help files and wracking my brain to remember what we do and don't have as a household.

My employer outsources the process to a webservice which is (workflow wise) pretty impressive.

They give you a progress meter ( 1, 2, 3 steps and you're done!) and they offer you every single option imaginable. You're required to waive or accept each and every plan, twice - so there's no single misclick can sentence you to unwanted benefits.

Getting you through the process in a few minutes speaks to a process that is well formed. Having online validation makes sure you don't submit bad choices - so I'm sure it's win-win for the employee and their employer.

There are even tutorials on what the various plans do for you -  which is pretty freaking important, seeing these are year long commitments to plans that can be the difference between maintaining your current lifestyle and total catastrophe.

While some of the tutorials nicely illustrate the broad concepts of things like flex spending accounts - there are also moments like this one detailing the reasons a person might get disability insurance:

I mean - the chances are "very good" that I will become disabled? Really? This is for a plan whose benefits start on the 15th day of disability, supplemented by another plan whose benefits start on the 151st day of disability.

And this is for a business whose employees work in information technology.

Thinking back to my closest brush with disability - surgery and in hospital for five days. Still nowhere near qualifying for the short term disability coverage.

But it's not like I'm getting any younger.

Do you listen to the merchant trying to sell you stuff...?

Smartmoney says there is a good chance, so now you're comparing your own experience against the odds.

How does a person make an informed choice about getting this kind of coverage? 

Arrgh.

Penn State, You Suck

The Grand Jury document is unbelievable.

• Grad student reports sodomy of a minor to Paterno.
• Paterno brings in the Athletic Director Tim Curley and Senior VP for Finance and Business Gary Schultz.
• According to the grad student, the grad student tells Curley and Schultz that Sandusky was seen sodomizing a minor.
• According to Curley, the grad student said Sandusky had "inappropriate conduct" but specifically denied that the student mentioned "sexual conduct...of any kind"
• According to Schultz, the grad student said Sandusky had "disturbing" and "inappropriate" conduct with a young boy - but he was very unsure about what he remembered. Also, that the conduct was "not that serious" and he had "no indication that a crime had occurred."

Here's some wonderfully understated Grand Jury snark

Although Schultz oversaw the Universtiy Police as part of his position, he never reported the 2002 [shower sex with minor] incident to the University Police or other police agency, never sought or reviewed a police report on the 1998 incident [where Sandusky was alleged to have behaved in a sexually inappropriate manner with minor boys in the football showers] and never attempted to learn the identity of the child in the shower in 2002. No one from the University did so. Schultz did not ask the graduate assistant for specifics. No one ever did.

They follow up with

The Grand Jury finds that portions of the testimony of Tim Curley and Gary Schultz are not credible.

Paterno's going to retire - he should be fired, sued and prosecuted.

Likewise Curley, Schultz and the Penn State President Spanier.

Heads gotta roll.

Ya! ya! Yawm!

Dune project: done.

Tell me Muad' Dib, how you say "dorkwad" on your homeworld?

Natural 20

"Daddy, why do you have a big bald spot on the top of your head?"

"Uh...."

Amazingly, the conversation went downhill from there.  

Rollingl to confirm.... and....yes!