"Why does this keep happening?"
-Sisyphus
Four minutes.
I timed it.
Inadequate.
And immediately after, I'm screwing my guts back together in a conference room - trying to look like a professional.
* * *
This morning started out normal, mostly. Crate the dog, corral the kids. Out.
Runner's setting up the gear for a charity run that NerdHaven is participating in. Passing out the swag. I'm opting for the green water bottle right about the time I get a notice on my phone.
Living Room movement.I have DropCam. The dog is up to something. He's in his crate, so he's probably not up to much, but I check and-
he's not in his crate.
I check the history and see that Mr. Dog tried the side door (which we forgot to latch) and happily escaped into the kitchen. He's probably doing God-knows what kind of damage to the house, right before he leaves an epic steamer on the new couch.
I gotta bug Gumby about something first, but their door is shut. So I get some coffee and head into an in person meeting I have to. Afterwards I'll bop home and work remote until noon. I have a presentation to the SMEs this afternoon and I need to be in the office for the video conf.
I get a desk check with HellBoy over in our west coast office - HellBoy is killing it on a story I wrote for this big feature Sprint's running. HellBoy spots all kinds of issues and (this one time) I actually am ahead of them, since the UX group went over all the crazy edge cases yesterday.
Well, almost all of them, Sprint caught another one this morning, but... anyway. The story is going well. Should go to QA today.
I take my machine and head home to uncover the horrors the dog has inflicted on my home. I don't see him in the window... but-
-he's happily greeting me at the door. I check everywhere, but nothing is ruined. The dog has....been good. I don't know how to express my disbelief of this, but perhaps he was just stunned into inaction by the amount of choices he had.
Which should I destroy first? OOhhh! I can't decide...!
I set up my VPN and go back to virtual work. Right away, I get IM'ed by Source. They want me to call them.
I start explaining why I'm out of the office, and Source laughs.
"Y'know, it's probably a good day to be out of the office. Put your feet up a bit, there's news."
Source is pretty good about knowing things, it's kinda how they got this gig.
"There's gonna be a team meeting today."
As I have said before, sudden meetings with the boss are never good.
Still, this doesn't have to be bad.
"Remote is in town."
Sh!t.
Remote lives on another plane of corporate existence. Runner's been saying money is tight, lately - so if our corporate masters have deemed it necessary to fly Remote out here, something is about to go down.
"This will be an announcement of a force reduction."
Bad.
"UX will be affected."
Really bad.
"The West Coast dev team is being let go."
Are you F*#k-ing kidding me? We can't lose Pirate and Thespian, that's not possible...! Nobody can do what they do...!
Source backtracks a bit, but repeats that the west coast team is going to be hit hard.
And then they say it "You are safe." The words I've been afraid to ask for.
I am safe. But somebody on UX isn't.
Source has to go, they swear me to secrecy until the appointed hour. I'm supposed to cancel my presentation to the SMEs.
"They won't want to talk to you anyway, their team will be affected, too."
Cripes.
So, now I'm in the know - about something I shouldn't be. I don't know much, so there wouldn't be much point in sharing what I've heard. When it comes to issues like these - only dead certainties count. But you're never allowed to share them.
I don't want to go back to the office. I don't want to face people today.
I go walk the dog to clear my head.
I start thinking about our group. If we're losing someone, there are two main candidates: Red and Gumby.
Red's on a contract and keeps getting jerked around by NerdHaven. They were supposed to make Red an FTE months ago - and pointedly hadn't. Red was starting to get more than a little nervous, but their project work is never ending. If Red goes, a metric sh!t-ton of work will fall on someone. Red's been absolutely great. They've inherited all of Dash's old work and kept up with their original team's work besides.
It will suck if it's Red. They are good people.
Gumby... I admit that's a bit of a long shot. But Gumby was strong-armed out of the UX director job and into Product - where... I don't know. They don't seem to have distinguished themselves. They probably do a lot more than I realize, but my interactions with them have not gotten better since they shifted jobs. Gumby always wants to have more meetings, more discussions - and they never seem to push back against the factional foolishness going on at higher levels. Easy for me to say, I know - but a criticism of Gumby's project always seems to turn into hip shooting a solution to appease the critic. Instead of, "Hey, is this criticism something I should give a sh!t about? No? Then screw it." Or some other, more professional version of that. Just because someone else isn't happy isn't a reason for a complete do-over.
And Gumby does not seem to be making allies with the powerful set at NerdHaven. It's not really a lot to base a theory on, but it's just a feeling.
Source thought Sprint and Data were safe, too. I have to think Dash is, as well. Their project is a colossus and no way they get pulled off it.
I get back and log in. Cancel my SME meeting - and I see that the team meeting is scheduled to start in the next 30 minutes.
!!!
I put the dog back in his crate - making sure to latch both doors, this time - and bolt back to the office. No time for lunch, and no real appetite. I grab a snack at the ground floor cafe and jump into an elevator.
With the meeting starting in the next....geez!...five minutes! People who are getting their notice will probably know by now.
The 'vator opens and I see two co-workers from Service headed towards me. One of them is sobbing, the other is telling them to just breathe. "You're okay, you're okay."
* * *
They don't have a box in their hands, but it's full on obvious what is going on. I clear a path and head towards my desk. I see Drool in the hallway, they're looking grim, but they are still here. They have the look of forced stoicism.
Scan fob, duck through the door. I know the bad news a bit early, so I'm going to shut my mouth until the meeting. In four minutes.
I'm almost at my desk and see Runner. They smile.
"Hey, I'm packing up my sh!t"
No.
They're chucking pens and such into a box.
No.
All I can manage is "Whu-?"
No. No. No.
"I got laid off."
Not Runner.
Runner and I started on the same day. Literally went through all the same sh!t in the rampup. We were joined at the hip on Arwafn. Then Runner became the go-to on two huge internal projects and,
and now?
Runner says Remote was trying to get their attention all morning, so they knew. Walked into Remote's temporary office, saw the two other guys in suits and just said "Gimme my damn folder."
They will get a severance, it's not catastrophic, but I'm just gutted, and Runner's always talking about how they are the stable income in their family. Their spouse has good work, but it's sporadic as hell.
Gumby walks in, they hear the news and are staggered, they hadn't a whiff of this, didn't even know Remote was in town.
Red comes in, they appear to have survived the cut. Which means Runner is the only loss to UX. Runner knows that Ihaq is gone, and Balin is also gone.
Sh!t.
The team meeting with Remote starts in seconds and I ask if this is immediate, or if they will be around after the-
"I'm gone."
I hug Runner and try not to lose my sh!t in the hallway. BigDog comes in as I'm leaving and I have to just walk off.
Two years, I work with you - and now I just walk off.
After four minutes.
Inadequate.
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